Monday, July 31, 2006

Requesting puppy control

Attention homo sapien, feline, and canine friends! I humbly request your advice:

It would seem that we have a slight problem here at The House. You see, the neighbors that live behind The House recently acquired two young Labrador Retriever puppies: one black, one chocolate, both approximately 3 months old. At first, I didn't mind the yapping and howling that occured from morning until dusk. In fact, I felt incredibly bad for the young puppies since it was terribly hot in the City of Outside, and I couldn't understand why they were being left in the yard to fend for themselves. However, it seems that these two young lads have decided that MY yard is also THEIR yard.

Enter into the evidence Exhibit A:

This is the fence that stands between MY yard and THEIR yard. Note the hole that has been broken into the weak planks of wood. This is their entry point into my domain.

Enter into the evidence Exhibit B:

This was my human pet's only attempt at harnessing the diminishing powers of her somewhat green (though to be accurate, it is more black than green) thumb. This poor pineapple plant suffered the wrath of these puppies as they shredded its once lovely leaves. They left it toppled over and ravaged, all the while yipping and barking their pleasure.

What in the world am I to do? Where can I find justice?

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Are you a'gettin' it?

The human pet has been acting strangely since the day began. She has been coming up to me, rubbing my face, and saying in a roughly, deep voice:

"Are you a'gettin' it? Yes, I'm a'gettin' it. Really a'gettin' it? Yes, I'm a'gettin' it. C'mon, Steve!"

Who is Steve? What are we getting? Why does she feel the need to keep telling me she got it?

And then to make it all worse, I found these sitting in the kitchen:

So now, some leopard who is deaf needs my human pet's assistance in communicating apparently while taking his own journey. I guess she will be interpreting for the big cat. I wonder how well the leopard signs when he has no opposable thumbs...

Goodness, now she's belting out that she wants me to pour some sugar on her. What is going on with her? Since when are we allowed to pour sugar all over the place? Someone tell me what is going on!

Friday, July 28, 2006

Isis, you've got mail!

Hmm, a package ONLY for me? From Beau? I've heard of those scandals involving anthrax being sent through the mail. I mean, this is pretty fishy. Don't let your guard down!

Forget German Shepherds, Bloodhounds, and Beagles! I can sniff anything out, and I smell something in there! You can't fool me! I know illegal substances when I smell them!

I knew it! I knew it! It's not anthrax! It's catnip! And it's all for meeeeeeeeee!

Mama, leave me alone now so I can indulge myself. Everyone's entitled to some Me Time, including me now too!

Thank you so much, Beau, for being my Summer Secret Paws!

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Thursday Thirteen Edition #1

Thirteen Reasons Why My Sister Isis is Schizo

1. She eats any bread product (bagels, hamburger buns, loaves, etc.) out of plastic bags.
2. She can't be touched, but she wants to be touched.
3. People can only touch her skull or her tail if they wish to walk away unharmed.
4. She'll bite the hand that feeds her.
5. She will only sit by a person if that person is on a bed. (Any bed will do!)
6. She always snaps at you when you place a hand on her to pet her, as if she is surprised that you have decided to pet her.
7. She drinks so loud that you can hear her throughout the house. Lap, lap, lap!
8. She has an affinity for watching tampons expand in her water bowl.
9. She loves Bounty paper towels...ripped, torn, and shredded.
10. When people enter the house, she will attempt to run outside, but then quickly realizes she has ran outside and will dash back inside.
11. Her way of opening the pet door to the garage is by sitting in front of it and swatting the flap until it has enough momemtum for her to dash through to the other side without her body touching the flap. (Longest estimated time spent in this activity: 20 minutes)
12. She can open any door with her paws.
13. She has private, barking (sounds very much like squirrels) conversations with birds that land on the deck in the backyard.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. Karen
3. Raggedy
4. Mysterious Lady
5. Knitting Maniac
6. Diva Spot
7. Strange, Dark Gypsy Girl
8. Construction Deconstruction
9. Southern Girl
10. Rus VW
11. Lil Duck Duck
12. Tinkerbell
13. Christine
14. Carmen
15. Lilize
16. Anastasia Hunt
17. The Shrone
18. Armywife
19. Nathalie
20. Darla
21. Trish
22. Peppermint Kiwi
23. Greek Goddess

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

You Didn't Change The Litter!

(Sung to the tune of Billy Joel's We Didn't Start the Fire)

Scout, Casper, Kim Kim, Victor, Oscar, Xin Xin
Fat Eddy, Butterscotch, Rome N. Panther

Miles, Sammy, Nixon, Kukka is a vixen!
Ramona, Smeagol, Strider

Moose, Merlin, Shadow, Kootoo, Muffin, Milo
Oreo, Cosmo, and the kitty Gigolo

Luna, Beau Beau, Angie, Alberta, Sky, Charlie
Boni, Sanjee, Mini, Max the psycho

You didn't change the litter!
It was never purty,
and it's always dirty.
You didn't change the litter!
How can we poop in it
when the beans fail to scoop it?

Princess Mia, Yuan Yuan, Mia, Ghost, Bon Bon
Aloysius, Finnegan, Zeus' trips around the block

Patches, Mittens, Mistrie, Bombay, Bangles, Bonnie
Isis in the psych ward, electric shock

George, Tipper, Derby, Ayla, Max, Misty
Badness, Brach, Scrappy, Scooby, Hat, Shaggy

Chatham, Salem, Edsel the great, Fat Eric loses weight
Cruxley, Pip, Musette in a state, Loki is irrate


Marigold, Grr, Emily, Mera, Tilly, Toby
William, Rascal, Timmy, Bomber, Guiness, Fizzy

Mattingly, Frostin', Obsidian, Munchkin
Singapore cats, how Zen, Eric's pounds back again

Autumn, Cheese, and Mouse, Empress has a new car
Nimbus in a new house, satirical mockery by Valdebar

Meep, Boots, Buzzerbee, Emma, Benji, Zebby
Booga, Lola, Mojo, Kiara, Ella, Meeko


Flea collar, ear drops, to the vet's to clean the chops
Barking dogs, empty bowl, favorite toy in a hole
Sharp claws, dirty paws, Lucas' diaper mess, anally expressed
Feral cats on the streets, not the type you'd like to meet

Pet shelters euthanize, heartworm, SPCA budgets downsize
Homeless pets, back to vet's, kitty AIDS, lost pets
Shedding coats, hairless gloats, hairballs in throats
Beans are gone, where's mom, I can't take it anymore!!!


Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Uptown Puss

Sung to the tune of Billy Joel's Uptown Girl

Uptown puss
She's been known for lots of fuss and cuss
I bet she never had a back street cat
I bet her agent is to blame for that

I'm gonna try for that uptown puss
If I get her, that's a real big plus
As long as I stay real nice and calm
And now she's lookin' for a downtown tom
Don't tell her mom!

And when she says that
I'm not Johnny Depp
I'll show her I can
take the next big step

She'll see I'm not so tough
Just because
I'm in love with an uptown puss
You know she's the one I'd like to discuss
She never tires of her high class toys
And all her presents from her uptown boys
She's makes some noise.

Uptown puss
I can only afford the metro bus
But maybe when she's feeling a wee bit down
I'll get her to come around
But will she frown?

And when she's stalking
She's looking so fine
And when she's talking
She'll say that she's mine

She'll say I'm not so tough
Just because
I'm in love
With an uptown puss
If I get her, that's a real big plus
As long as I stay real nice and calm
And now she's looking for a downtown tom
Don't tell her mom!

Uptown puss
She's my uptown puss
You know I'm in love
With an uptown puss

(Derby issued a challenge for us to come up with a song about other cats in the blogosphere. To find out more, click here!)

Warning: My extended family

I have discovered some of the truth behind my extended family that live in the land of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Some of it, you might find a bit disturbing. Parents of little pups and kittens should use your own discretion.

This is my Aunt Diana. I have no idea what is on her tongue, but the fact that she wants to show it off is more than a bit unnerving.

This is my Uncle Gino. I'm not sure what he is doing with those plates, but then again, I don't know that I want to know.

Apparently, there's also an Uncle Vince and Uncle Steve, but they were not there when my human pet went to visit. I don't know that I want to see any photos of them. These photos have taught me that even when I thought I knew all there was to know about human behavior, I learned that I still have much more to understand.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

The Blogs of Summer Awards

Celebrating the Blogs of Summer

It seems I have been nominated for the best Kitty Kat blog for the summer of 2006. If you liked what you read these past few months, please take some time out of your schedule to vote for me by following the link above and then clicking on Pet's Garden! and sound

Dear feline, canine, and human friends,

FINALLY! The human pet arrived home today at around one in the afternoon. I was so happy to see her that I ran up to her, rubbed myself all over, and followed her...coughs!...I mean, I went off to the bedroom, and I refused to show her any attention as she had been so incredibly thoughtless as to leave me here by myself with my schizo sister, Isis. That's just torture, and I won't have it.

Now, my human pet is mumbling something about how she did not have Internet for the past five days at her parents' house in Pittsburgh as they were remodeling their home. She's trying to apologize, but I'm ignoring her. She says she has pictures to show, but I'm pretending not to care in this supposed extended family of mine.

I bet she went on vacation to visit with her other feline companion. Some purebred kitty, I bet, who can stand on only its front paws and brings her treats in the middle of the night on a serving tray. I hear about this all the time on the television.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

No leaving for you, human pet!

What's all this about?!

It's all mine! MINE, I tell you! You're not going anywhere!

Did you just say Mama is leaving?

Zeus can go traveling all he wants but not the Mama!

Watch the hallway. I got this covered. She's not going anywhere!

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Let Kukka Go!

Join the protest here.

The best things in life are free

Now that my trips are over, I can get back to what is really important...


Sunday, July 16, 2006

The Amazing Zeus Season Finale: Discovering Alabama's Treasures With Mia and Ghost

While the sun shined through the living room windows, I stretched my paws, both front and hind, and waited quietly for Phil to arrive. So hard to believe this is the last time, I thought to myself. I didn't get to see everybody, but I got to see everybody that I could.

The human pet came into the living room with her cup of coffee, saw the saddened expression on my face, and gave me some scratches on top of my head. "Zeus, you need to cheer up. You can't meet Mia and Ghost with this face," she said. I knew she was right, but I was still bummed nonetheless.

There was a knock on the front door, and the human pet answered it, allowing Phil into the house. "Are we ready to go?" asked Phil. "You might want to talk to him, Phil. He's in a funk since this is the last trip," said my human pet.

"Is that true? Zeus," he said, coming to me to pet me, "this isn't the last trip. There's no doubt that the producers will want to continue this series next year. Don't think of this as a series finale; think of this as a season finale."

That made me feel a little bit better, and I let myself purr finally. "Alabama, here we come!" I said excitedly. "Thatta boy, Zeus!" said Phil. Phil smiled at me and then turning to my human pet, he said, "Marina, I'm going to miss seeing you faint when I say hello." He chuckled, and my human pet smirked and looked to the floor embarassed.

"Well, if you weren't Phil Keoghan, there'd be no fainting. I'm blaming you entirely," she said with a laugh.

"Very well, I suppose," he said grinning. "C'mon Zeus, it's time to go to the airport to meet your friends."

The flight to Alabama was very fast as Alabama is not too far from Texas. It only took me an hour and forty-five minutes! When I landed, the production crew helped me for the final time in locating a taxi and getting on my way to Mia and Ghost's. The scenery was absolutely beautiful as the verdant hills were covered in Alabama wildflowers. There were Black-Eyed Susans, Queen Anne's Lace, and Lemon Mint!

When I arrived to Mia and Ghost's, I padded up the pathway to their front door and knocked several times. The door opened in short order, and a pleasant lady met me with a smile. "Well, it's about time, Zeus! We're so very glad you made it! Come on inside," she said with a wave of her hand. As I stepped inside, I rubbed against her leg to say thank you and patiently waited for my friends.

I didn't have to wait long. "Zeus!!!" screamed Mia, and she tackled me head-on. "I'm so happy you're here! We thought you'd never get here." Before I had time to recover, I was met by another tackle. "Zeus!!!" screamed Ghost. "This is absolutely terrific! I've been looking forward to this for a long time. Is it true we're the last ones?"

I explained to them everything Phil told me during the morning. "Really? You'll do this again next year?" asked Ghost. "I don't know, to be honest. Anything can happen between now and then," I said. "True enough," nodded Ghost, "You don't want to commit to anything. I think that would be a bit hasty."

There was a knock on the door, and sure as the sun rises, there was my friend, Phil:

"Mia, Ghost, and Zeus. You have $250.00 for this leg of the race. Here's your first clue. Read over it carefully, and be safe on your travels."

We tore open the clue together and read:

Make your way to the World's Largest Chair. Once there, search for your next clue.

Mia raised a curious eyebrow. "Well, that's just silliness. Why would we want to see the world's largest chair?"

"Um, because it has a clue," replied Ghost as if the answer were obvious.

Mia sighed and said, "Our mama got us transportation for the day. She said it was outside. Did you see it on your way in?" I shook my head, and so the three of us walked outside and there was our very own personal stretch limo. "Your human lady pet has good taste," I said. Mia and Ghost nodded.

"Of course she does. She has us, right?" said Mia.

We climbed into the limo and made our way to Anniston, Alabama. The chair was easy to spot from our seats in the limo as it stood thirty-three feet tall and was designed to look like it was from an office. It was made from ten tons of steel. I suddenly remembered that Phil had been here before for the Family Edition of The Amazing Race, and so I didn't want to behave like some of those homo sapiens did on the show in regards to this monument.

We searched for the clue, and it was Mia who found it. The cluebox had been directly underneath the seat of the massive chair! We opened it together and read:

Make your way to Vulcan Park. Once there, locate the Vulcan Statue and retrieve your next clue.

"Vulcan? As in Star Trek?" I asked.

"I don't think so, Zeus," said Ghost giggling.

We made our way back to the limo and set off for Birmingham, Alabama. As we sat in the backseat, watching the scenery go by, I said, "Vulcan is a god's name, right? Like my name? Is it Roman or Greek? Maybe if we figure out what it means then we'll know what we're supposed to do."

"Zeus," said Mia laughing, "this isn't Treasure Hunters."

"You're right. That was silly of me," I said hanging my head.

When we arrived in Birmingham, our driver let us off about a block or two away from the park. I looked up towards the top of the trees, and I could see the statue of Vulcan towering across the landscape. The three of us headed in the statue's direction, trying to keep our eyes on the statue through the branches of the trees.

The three of us toured the grounds and learned more about the history of this famous landmark. As it turned out, Vulcan was the Roman god of the forge, and therefore, he was also related to metal. Created in 1904 for the St. Louis World's Fair, it represented Birmingham's capacity for being a leader in industry. Vulcan was designed and completed by Giuseppe Moretti, an Italian immigrant famous for his creation of large statues. His version of the god shows him with his anvil to his left-hand side, gripping his hammer while in his right hand, he gazes at a spear which he has just finished making.

We found the clue shortly afterwards near an exit door inside the museum:

Make your way to the Alabama Jazz Hall of Fame.

"Wow! That is certainly different," said Mia.

"I'm excited! I know my human pet loves jazz so perhaps I will pick up something for her while we're inside!" I said.

We traveled the short distance in the limo to the Hall of Fame. Once inside, I was astounded by the sweet melodies that greeted my ears. The thick bass and the sultry vocals were enough to make me feel like one smooth cat. We toured the exhibits which featured Nat King Cole, Duke Ellington, and even Ella Fitzgerald! It was so interesting to learn about the lives of these famous performers.

"These musicians were really talented!" said Ghost.

"Without a doubt! I could listen to this all day," I said.

"This has definitely been a lot of fun, Zeus," said Mia. "I don't think anyone else has gotten to listen to jivin' music like this!"

After our tour, we walked outside to return to the limo, and to our surprise, there was Phil!

"What are you doing here, Phil?" I asked curiously as we approached him.

"Three continents, three countries, and eight states. You have finished The Amazing Zeus," he said.

"That's a bit melodramatic, don't you think?" whispered Mia to Ghost. Ghost nodded, and we all chuckled.

"Well, Phil, I don't mean to ruin your moment, but it's not finished. I have to travel back with Mia and Ghost to their house and say thank you and good-bye to their human lady pet," I said.

"I see," said Phil with a slight smirk. "Well, I'll meet you there then."

We climbed back into our limo while Phil traveled behind us in his own transportation. When we arrived to Mia and Ghost's house, I turned to look at them and said, "I really had a fantastic time with both of you. I hope that you did too. Please tell your human lady pet I said thank you for her hospitality and generosity."

"Oh we did, Zeus! Don't you worry! It was a great time for both of us," said Mia.

"We'll pass your message on to her. It was definitely a blast!" said Ghost smiling.

I nuzzled them both and then I hopped out of the limo. Walking back to Phil's vehicle, I said, "I'm ready to go now."

"Alright, Zeus," he said and opened the passenger door for me. "So how do you feel now that it's finished?"

I thought carefully about this, and then after a long pause, I said, "It showed me that this world is not as big as I thought it was. When all is said and done, felines are the same on any continent, in any country. I feel very blessed to have so many friends, and I hope I see them all again soon."

Phil looked over at me and gave me a few good scratches behind my ears. "I don't think you will need to wait very long for that, Zeus." And with that, we drove to the airport for my flight home.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Alabama, Alabama, we will aye be true to thee!

Greetings once more, feline (and canine!) friends and human pets,

It is with a very sad heart that I announce this is the final postcard. I almost don't want to read it because if I don't read it, then I don't know about it, and it won't have to come to an end ever. However, I know that is not how it works, and I have to see this through to the end nonetheless.


Siberian Tiger
(Panthera tigris altaica)
Largest of all living cats. Only about 200 still survive in the wild. Poachers sell fur, bones, claws, teeth, and other body parts. Urgently needs protection.

World Wildlife Fund
1250 Twenty-Fourth St. N.W.
Washington, D.C. 20037


We are looking forward to The Amazing Zeus coming to Alabama. Mom even helped us line up transportation for when you come.

Mia and Ghost

I'm very much looking forward to meeting you, Mia and Ghost, and I cannot wait to see the state of Alabama. I am sure it is going to be a terrific close to a fantastic adventure.

Friday, July 14, 2006

10 "Reasons" Why Animals Go To The SPCA

10. The animal is too energetic.

9. The animal is not energetic enough.

8. Unwanted gift

7. Too many pets already at home.

6. Pet restrictions at previous owner's location.

5. Owner has passed away.

4. Unsold kittens or puppies from large litters.

3. Animal has a high prey drive.

2. Animal in question does not get along with children.

1. Cruelty surrender

Research compiled by the human pet who visited the SPCA here in Houston on Tuesday, July 11, 2006.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Happy Anniversary, Kukka-Maria!

To my lovely Kukka-Maria,

Happy Anniversary, my precious. Thanks to the people of The Amazing Race, The Amazing Zeus, and Phil Keoghan, they have decided to honor my request of reimbursing me for my time by buying this Ferrari F430 Spider. However, I give it to you freely since it is something you so desperately want. I also asked them to buy the silver one so it would match your fur while you rode in luxury around the town.

Snuggles and purrs,

The Amazing Zeus: Going For Broke in Connecticut With Beau Beau and Angie

Once more, Phil came to my door bright and early to pick me up for my trip to Connecticut. He looked quite dapper, and a smile lit his face.

"Zeus, it's hard to believe, but there's only two more trips left, including this one. We sure have come a long way," he said.

I nodded thoughtfully. Only two more trips, and I still felt as if I had more to see. "There's always next year, I suppose. Summer vacation can only last so long," I stated.

From around the corner, my human pet came into the living room. She saw Phil and I chatting, and softly, she said, "Phil, I am sorry for how I have been these past few days. It's just...I miss my Zeus."

Phil walked towards my human pet, placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, and said, "I know, Marina. It's almost over. Just two more trips, and it's done."

"I'm practically jealous too. I mean, here he is - a cat, and he has gotten to go places I only dream about. It's slightly unnerving."

"You could always apply to be on The Amazing Race. I know I would cheer you on," Phil told her.

I coughed abruptly. There was only so much human bonding that I was about to put up with, and we needed to go to the airport anyhow. Phil picked me up, said good-bye to the human pet, and off we went to lovely Connecticut.

The flight in was very pleasant, but when I stepped out of the plane, I was even more in love with the weather. It was a cool 75 degrees Fahrenheit (23 degrees Celsius) with the sun shining and a lovely breeze nipping my ears. It was nothing like Houston; in fact, it was downright inviting! You could actually go outside and not sweat buckets!

When I arrived to Beau Beau and Angie's house, I discovered they didn't really live under the ski resort. (In terms of distance and direction, they lived under it.) Their house was very beautiful on the outside, and as I walked up the path, my heart beat faster as my excitement grew.

I knocked on the door, and I didn't have to wait long. A lovely woman answered the door, and behind her, was a younger girl, smiling at me. "Come on in, Zeus! It's a real pleasure to have you here." They opened the door, and I looked at the younger girl again. Suddenly, it hit me: She was the sister of Beau Beau and Angie, the one who recently graduated. I gave her a headbutt to say congratulations and waited patiently for my friends.

I got toppled over by Beau Beau in short order as he ran towards me from the hall. "Zeus, we've been waitin' the longest fur you to get here! Is it true what dey have been sayin'? The Amazing Zeus is almost ofur?"

I nodded. "It's true. I'm really lucky to be with you all at the moment," I replied.

"I don't tink luck has anyting to do wit it. You could haf always teleported," Beau answered.

Angie came up to greet me next. She looked simply marvelous, all puffed out with her long fur. "Any idea where we're going yet? I want to make sure I look great for when Phil arrives." She started bathing herself, smoothing down the long fur while Beau Beau and I giggled.

Suddenly, the door rang, and of course, my dear audience, you already know who it was. However, if you're just joining us, it was my great friend, Phil Keoghan.

"Beau Beau, Angie, and Zeus. You have $2500.00 for this leg of the race. Here is your first clue. Read over it carefully, and be safe on your travels."

"Holy Toledo! Dat has got to be da most biggest amount dat anyone efur got wif you! We hafta be doin' someting good!" screamed Beau Beau. Excited and anxious to get going, we opened the clue immediately and read together:

Make your way to the gravesite of Midnight Mary. Once there, search for your next clue.

"Oh no! Not Midnight Mary!" screamed Angie. Beau Beau put a comforting paw on Angie's back and whispered, "You can do dis, Angie! It's day time too. Nuffin will happen."

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

"Midnight Mary is what's wrong!" affirmed Angie. "I guess I'll haf to tuff it out dough and hope we come out...alive!"

Baffled and perplexed, I had no idea what to make out of Angie's words. However, we joined Beau Beau and Angie's human female pets in the car (They had so graciously agreed to help transport us!), and we made our way to New Haven, Connecticut. As we drove along, I asked Angie again, "Please explain what has made you so frightened of Midnight Mary, Angie. I want to know what to expect."

"Midnight Mary was buried alive by her husband! She tried to claw herself out of her casket, but she couldn't do it, and as a result, she died at midnight. She is said to haunt the grounds, and if you're in the cemetery too late, she'll come and get you!"

The story sent chills up my fur! "Good thing we're going in the day then," I said. Beau Beau nodded, stating that he agreed.

We made it to the Evergreen Cemetery, and as we padded through the grass, looking for the grave, I began to hear a strange rustling noise that seemed to follow us wherever we went. "Do you guys hear that?" I asked, looking around. "Ignore it! We need to find the clue, and get out of here!" said Angie. She was near a panic, and I didn't blame her after hearing the story.

We managed to find the grave, and the three of us played Rock-Paper-Scissors to decide which of us would pick up the clue off of the gravesite. Unfortunately, I lost so I tip-toed over the mound, snatched the clue, and leapt away as fast as I could.

We opened it up and read it together:

Make your way to Rock and Roll Charters. Once there, climb aboard the Sea Wolf for some deep sea fishing. Catch a fish to receive your next clue.

"Fishing!! Alright!" shouted Beau Beau. "Comin' to dis grave den was well worf it! We gets to eat some fishies now!"

Angie and I both laughed. We made our way back to the parking lot where we joined their human female pets. As we began our drive to North Branford, the older of the two human females said, "You know, you three: Rock and Roll Charters is well-known for shark fishing. Maybe that's what you'll be doing."

Angie's eyes became huge, and Beau Beau looked at me nervously, saying, "What is it wif dis trip, Zeus? Is Phil tryin' to kill us? First, Midnight Mary and now da sharks?!"

I didn't think Phil was trying to kill us, but then again, it was all too odd. "Maybe the producers just want higher ratings," I said.

"Hmph," said Beau Beau. We didn't say much more until we got to the charters. Once there, the three of us jumped out of the car and looked around. The smell of the water and the fresh air certainly had some hand in changing our mind.

Long Island Sound was beautiful, and even the crying of the gulls couldn't ruin it! The boats were lined up and ready to take off towards the Atlantic Ocean for adventure. People milled about, setting ropes, loading supplies, and discussing their plans for the day. Beau Beau, Angie, and I couldn't help but become excited at the thought of our expedition.

Near the end of the dock, we found the Sea Wolf. We had to pay quite a bit of money for our fishing trip: $1800 for half a day of shark and tuna fishing. The people in charge at the charter asked if we had licenses to fish, and we weren't sure what they meant. We hadn't known felines needed licenses to fish, but once again, those wonderful production assistants took care of everything for us. We made our way out to open waters and to the sharks!

"So what kind of sharks can we expect to see?" I asked the captain of our fine vessel.

"Well, if you're lucky, you'll catch either a mako or blue shark. When we get to where the tuna usually are, you just might be able to land yourself a bluefin or yellowfin tuna. Just depends on how determined you are, little skipper," said the captain.

"He called you 'little skipper'!" said Angie with a giggle. "How funny is dat?"

"Next he'll be puttin' da cap on you too," said Beau Beau, laughing.

Being out among the waves of the ocean was quite thrilling. Beau Beau and I watched the fish as they swam along the sides of the boat while Angie sunbathed on the deck. Listening to the captain's orders, we prepared bait (Though at this point, I must admit I was slightly creeped out by the captain who stated we should just put one of us on the line since we would make great bait for these fish. We all laughed politely at his so-called joke, but for the life of me, I didn't think he was joking.) for the large, massive fish and threw it overboard (called chunking) in the hopes we would find ourselves a big catch.

An hour or two went by on the boat with nothing special happening, but then, we got a bite on our line! The struggle was fierce as whatever was under the waves fought with the hook-bait now inside of its mouth! The captain pulled and pulled on the line, leaning back to gain some advantage over the beast. With a loud grunt, he thrust back and then screamed, "When this one gets close to the boat, release the harpoon!" Quickly, the three of us worked together, waited for his signal, and then as his hand went up, we released the harpoon!

Above is a picture of our captain with our catch. As you can see, it is a GIANT, mouth-watering tuna! We were all so very proud of ourselves, and as our reward, we received our next clue:

Make your way to Foxwoods Resort Casino. Any money you win, you keep.

"Oh my goodness! Good thing we learned how to play cards from The Bubbs. Hopefully, we can win our momma lots 'n lots of money!" said Angie.

Beau Beau nodded and added, "He definitely showed us how to keep da poker face. Do you know how to make da poker face, Zeus?"

"What's the poker face?" I asked inquisitively.

"You do this," said Beau Beau, and with that, he made his face go completely blank without any emotion. He just stared at me for the longest time, and it made me laugh.

"That's all there is?" I asked.

"You don't get it," Beau Beau said with a sigh. "It's bery hard. If you don't do it right, you can lose da game sometimes. You'll see. It helps you win da chips."

Back on dry land, the human female pets helped us make our way to Foxwood. They seemed just as excited as we were to go to this lovely resort. When we did arrive, the older of the two females looked back at us and said, "Now listen, you three. You're going to get offered lots of free drinks, but you don't take any of that. It's not the kind of drinks you'll like."

"But if it's free, then why not try it just once to see if we like it?" said Beau Beau.

"Because they don't make Meow-garitas here, Beau Beau. Just trust me on this one," she said.

"Ok den! You're da boss!" said Beau Beau.

We scampered inside, and I was immediately overwhelmed by the sights and sounds of this lively place! My ears perked and twitched with all of the noises: Ding! Ding! Ding! to my right followed by shouts of, "Wheel - of - Fortune!" and "Woo-woo-woo!" as a siren went off somewhere. All around, red, yellow, orange, blue, and green lights blazed and were blinking rapidly, and the smell of smoke mixed with heavy perfume lingered in the air.

"I'm gonna play some roulette. I'll see you both later!" said Angie. She padded off in the direction of what we could only assume were the roulette tables, only to leave Beau Beau and I curious. "You want to follow her?"I asked him. He nodded, and with that, we followed her path.

By the time we got to the roulette table, though, we found Angie was in the center of attention:

"Isn't she just adorable?" said one woman.

"What is she laying on? Is that 11 black? Put my money underneath that cat," said another lady.

"She better not be messin' with my chips," said a husband to his wife. "You never know, though, Chad," she replied. "She could bring you luck!"

I looked at Beau Beau and said, "Maybe we should find something to do on our own anyhow. You know, just us guys."

"Definitely. Let's go look at the slots," said Beau Beau.

"Slots? Why would we want to look at slots? Is there something in the slots?" I asked curiously.

"Yeah: MONEY!" yelled Beau Beau with a grin. "C'mon!" I followed him to the line of slot machines, and I understood now where all of the noises were coming from when we entered. They were the loudest, most intriguing machines I had ever seen. So much hooplah, and for some of the machines, it only cost one penny to play. Both Beau Beau and I leapt onto the padded chairs in front of two machines and began to play.

"Dis is so much fun! I love tryin' to get three cherries," said Beau Beau, "or three oranges, three lemons, or even three dollar signs. Three of anyting would be awesome!"

"Why does it have to be three of anything?" I felt so out of my element with this. "Because," explained Beau Beau, "that's how you get da money!"

I pressed the button that had PLAY printed on it, and sure enough, there was a loud noise erupted from the machine, lights flashed on and off, and it all frightened me to death that I leapt off of the seat onto the floor. "Holy smokes, Zeus! You won a thousand clams!" screamed Beau Beau with delight.

I looked all along the floor for the clams, but I didn't see anything but some gold coins. "C'mon, Zeus! You gotta pick 'em all up and take 'em to da cashier. Our mom is gonna be so happy we won her some clams!" Little by little, we picked up all of the coins and placed them in an empty plastic bucket someone had left near us. We took the bucket to the cashier, and sure enough, the lady behind the counter gave us money for it. I was shocked. With the cash in paw, we collected Angie from her adoring fans at the roulette wheel and made our way to the parking lot to locate their human female pets.

When the human female pets received the money from Beau Beau, they cheered and gave us a ton of scritchins. "Wow! This is unbelievable!" said the younger one. "Definitely! Thanks a lot, Zeus, for coming to visit us! If you want to come back again sometime and win another one thousand dollars for us, you're more than welcome!"

I would like to say thank you to Beau Beau, Angie, their human female sister, and their older human female pet. It was a pleasure coming to visit you and the wonderful state of Connecticut. I hope sometime you come to Houston to visit me, but do come in the winter when it is nice and warm here!

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Zeuskee Doodle went to town, riding on a pony...

Hello friends!

I would like to extend a warm Mount Olympuss welcome to the canines that have frequented the blog as of late! It is such a joy to see cultural bridges being built right here among us, and I am thrilled to be a part of it. I hope that you continue coming back, and I look forward to reading your interesting insights! I've also made a special section for you to the right so I can note who you all are and make sure to visit your blogs in the future.

With that said, it would seem the postcards for The Amazing Zeus are slowly coming to a close. It's a little saddening in a way, but Phil made an extra-special stop today to give me my next postcard. He and I read it together:

Map of Connecticut

Dear Zeus,

We are looking forward to your visit here in Connecticut! As you can see on the card front, there are many places to visit. We live where the star is marked under the Powder Ski Resort.

See you soon,

Beau Beau and Angie

How odd. Beau Beau and Angie live under a ski resort? I hadn't realized that the entire time, and I have been reading their blog for four months. How extraordinary! I wonder if they can hear people flying off the ski jumps from the roof of their house. I'm curious if the sound of the lifts running keeps them at night. This should definitely be fun...

Wait. It's July. Bah! No snow! Oh well...I'm coming nonetheless!