Friday, April 30, 2010

Buy Dawn to Help Wildlife in the Gulf Coast

As most people in America know, Dawn has been assisting in wildlife rescue efforts for many years. Today, the first oily bird has been rescued as part of the clean-up efforts concerning the BP oil spill. The wildlife rescuers were using Dawn to help the Northern Gannet.

As I sat here, wondering what I could do to help with such an overwhelming crisis, the answer that came to me was simple. We can show our support for the wildlife rescue efforts by purchasing Dawn products in the next few months. One dollar from your purchase goes directly to saving wildlife, including the Gulf of Mexico. The oil spill is threatening precious Louisiana wildlife habitats. If we all purchased Dawn products, though, imagine the possibilities of that powerful donation.

Should you choose to purchase Dawn, you can activate your donation by clicking here. Bookmark it, and pass it on to others!

ZEUS

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Digital Affairs

I know this may come as a shock to some viewers, but I have gotten several marriage proposals throughout the years. What can I say? The femme felines adore me.

Nonetheless, I have always recognized the limitations of my predicament. Rather than give false hope to a lady, I'd rather sit on my butt, flip my hind paws behind my head, and give myself a good cleaning. Honestly, I've always thought that was rather altruistic of me.

Imagine my surprise, then, when I stumbled onto this article about 27 year-old Sal 9000 (the only name he would give interviewers) who married a video game character named Nene on his Nintendo DS.

Apparently, anything is possible these days including interdigital relationships.

This, however, has given me hope for the human pet. Seeing as she's not married, I plan on hooking her up with Jin Kazama, her go-to character on Tekken. The only problem is that we live in Texas, and I doubt that'll go over well.

Zeus

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Hello. My name is Zeus, and I have Foreign Accent Syndrome.

For years, I used to wonder why I had such an affinity for speaking the human language. Many of my fellow blogging felines prefer to use dialects of Cat-o-nese, but for the life of me, I could never quite figure out what my problem was.

That is until I came across this article. Poor Sarah Colwill, a 35 year-old British woman, had herself a whopping migraine, and ouila! She now speaks with a Chinese accent. She has what experts call Foreign Accent Syndrome.

Getting back to me (since it is all about me), this only leads me to believe that I am the poor, innocent victim of severe brain trauma. I too must suffer from FAS, and seeing as though I do not remember ever experiencing it, I must have been a kitten when it occurred. And further still, since I know I take care of myself tremendously well, it must have been my...

HUMAN PET

...who did this to me.

Did she drop me on my head when I was a wee kitten?

Did she bump my head when I was getting one of those heinous baths?

Did she roll over on top of me and snuff the air from my lungs?

So many unanswered questions! Curse you, woman!

Too bad my accent is so generic. If only I had a really great accent afflicting me like French or German or even Spanish. Quick - someone smack me upside my head so I can speak all sexified like Antonio Banderas!

ZEUS

Monday, April 19, 2010

Write on, woman!

Even though the human pet hasn't let me come on to write anything new of my own in awhile, that hasn't stopped her from continuing on with her own writing. At the beginning of the year, the pet believed that it might be a good idea to see if she could make some extra cash by participating in some writing contests. In February, she had entered Women on Writing's 2010 Winter Contest, and truth be told, she hadn't expected anything to come out of her efforts.

Well, lo and behold, we have a published author on our paws!

The human pet has made it into THE TOP TEN out of 300 entries!!!

She will be featured on WoW's online magazine, interviewed by The Muffin, and receive some very nice prizes. She will probably find out in the next two weeks whether or not she has made it into the proverbial Winner's Circle. (Claws crossed that she does because money is money! You know what I mean?!)

Sure, she may have cockblocked me from the computer for the past few months, but you know what? I honestly don't mind too much at the moment.

I might change my mind tomorrow, but then again, I can do that. I'm a cat.

ZEUS

Sunday, April 11, 2010

I need a plan of attack

Has it really been over a month since I found time to sneak onto the computer to post anything?

How sad is that?

Of course, the human pet has time to farm her digital farm and shoot people on behalf of her mafia on Facebook. Far be it for me to stop her from planting her pixeled tulips or collecting weapons depot items. Am I really asking for too much to have a set day to do my thing?

Any suggestions on how to win her over would be appreciated.