For years, I used to wonder why I had such an affinity for speaking the human language. Many of my fellow blogging felines prefer to use dialects of Cat-o-nese, but for the life of me, I could never quite figure out what my problem was.
That is until I came across this article. Poor Sarah Colwill, a 35 year-old British woman, had herself a whopping migraine, and ouila! She now speaks with a Chinese accent. She has what experts call Foreign Accent Syndrome.
Getting back to me (since it is all about me), this only leads me to believe that I am the poor, innocent victim of severe brain trauma. I too must suffer from FAS, and seeing as though I do not remember ever experiencing it, I must have been a kitten when it occurred. And further still, since I know I take care of myself tremendously well, it must have been my...
...who did this to me.
Did she drop me on my head when I was a wee kitten?
Did she bump my head when I was getting one of those heinous baths?
Did she roll over on top of me and snuff the air from my lungs?
So many unanswered questions! Curse you, woman!
Too bad my accent is so generic. If only I had a really great accent afflicting me like French or German or even Spanish. Quick - someone smack me upside my head so I can speak all sexified like Antonio Banderas!