Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Hello. My name is Zeus, and I have Foreign Accent Syndrome.

For years, I used to wonder why I had such an affinity for speaking the human language. Many of my fellow blogging felines prefer to use dialects of Cat-o-nese, but for the life of me, I could never quite figure out what my problem was.

That is until I came across this article. Poor Sarah Colwill, a 35 year-old British woman, had herself a whopping migraine, and ouila! She now speaks with a Chinese accent. She has what experts call Foreign Accent Syndrome.

Getting back to me (since it is all about me), this only leads me to believe that I am the poor, innocent victim of severe brain trauma. I too must suffer from FAS, and seeing as though I do not remember ever experiencing it, I must have been a kitten when it occurred. And further still, since I know I take care of myself tremendously well, it must have been my...

HUMAN PET

...who did this to me.

Did she drop me on my head when I was a wee kitten?

Did she bump my head when I was getting one of those heinous baths?

Did she roll over on top of me and snuff the air from my lungs?

So many unanswered questions! Curse you, woman!

Too bad my accent is so generic. If only I had a really great accent afflicting me like French or German or even Spanish. Quick - someone smack me upside my head so I can speak all sexified like Antonio Banderas!

ZEUS

12 comments:

Angel and Kirby said...

We wondered why we spoke human so plain. Angel must have had that brain injury before we found her. Kirby is just a goober and won't stay still long enough to learn cat speak!

Cheysuli and gemini said...

I knew something happened to me as a kit--and they said it was just my tail!

Simba said...

You should check out Estorbo's blog:

http://estorboloco.blogspot.com/

He speaks human English with a Dominican accent!

The Crew said...

Mom gets headaches all the time. I hope that doesn't mean she'll soon be speaking Chinese or something. We only understand English.

George

PS. We took Simba's advice and stopped by Estobo's blog. He's pretty cool!

Rocky said...

While I know you kicked the kangaroo’s butt perhaps there is some unexpected or late onset head trauma. Boxing is a tough sport.

Yo, Adrain!

Ένας ανεμιστήρας εν λόγω said...

Αγαπητό Zeus,

Απολαμβάνω το blog σας. Είστε πιθανώς σωστοί να κατηγορήσετε το ανθρώπινο κατοικίδιο ζώο σας.

Zeus said...

Can someone translate the above comment?

Teri and the cats of Furrydance said...

Teri goes back and forth about using "catspeak"...she thinks only Skeezix can really pull it off well...

Teri and the cats of Furrydance said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Teri and the cats of Furrydance said...

It's Greek, per Google translator:

Dear Zeus,

I enjoy your blog. You are probably right to blame the human pet.

Shaggy, Scooby and Scout said...

WOW a Greek message on a post about different languages! How cool is that! What a co-inky-dink!

Moms always wanted to pursue here ancestry and Wales & Scotland.....AND she gets migraines! Maybe she can save on a plane ticket.

The Meezers or Billy said...

are you shur you don't speak wif a texas twang?