Monday, March 02, 2009

Hold the broken pieces of my heart, human pet

I love how I had plans to do something (i.e. fix my Link List), but that whatever I have to do never bears any weight on my human pet. She thinks she can simply run off and do what she wants, that there won't be any consequences to her actions. Well, not this time. I know exactly how to hit her where it hurts.

I'm hiding her wallet.

On Friday at six o'clock in the evening, the human pet walked across the street to David and Suzzette's house (Isis and I have met David; his scratches are absolute perfection.), but she did not come back until ten o'clock! Did she fall down another flight of stairs? Did she manage to trip over some oddball flat surface? Did she fall into the toilet?

No. She was playing Texas Hold 'Em!

And thank you, Twitter, for letting me know!

She didn't even win any money! And she calls that a good time? I don't see how losing five bucks can be even close to having a good time. Hello, human pet: Knock, knock. This is financial stress calling. We're knocking on the doors of all good American boys and girls.

You know, a time when people are trying to save more, trying to cut back on nonessential things, my human pet is throwing money away like it's growing on trees. (Though the recent Sonic commercial I saw does point out that money does indeed grow on trees since it's made of paper...but I digress.) If it had only been one night, that would have been forgiveable, but she went back again on Saturday night!

When the human pet returned, all you could hear was her mumbling: "I've never even seen anyone get a straight flush before."

Well, now you have, and you will again, human pet, because I am flushing your wallet straight down the drain. Might as well save you the false hope of winning in advance so you don't waste any more precious catfood money. Some of us need to eat around here.


The Meezers or Billy said...

before you flush, make sure you take the paper money and plastic money out and hide them - just in case you need to order out while she is playing poker again.

The Crew said...

Zeus, we'd be happy to share our catblog links list with you. The easiest way is this: Bring up our page, then right click on the background. Click on "view page source". Then scroll down until you find the list of links, separated into US & international. Copy & paste into your template, then edit as you wish.

Let us know if you need help or if this doesn't work.

The Crew said...

We agree with Sammy & Miles. The way things are going you never know when you'll be forced to buy your own food! You'd best save that plastic money and stash any green papers you find in a safe place.

Angel, Kirby and Max said...

SOme hhuman pets get more addicted to Texas hold'm that we get to cat nip!

Gemini and Ichiro said...

My human isn't addicted to Texas Holdem.. she's just addicted to facebook. Sigh.

Jake and Bathsheba said...

Welcome back, Zeus. It's been a long time.


Tigersan said...

The Big Z always knows best :)

If your pet don't win any money... then your pet don't get any food. Hmmm, "straight flush", me didn't know you lived on the equator :0