Even though we have not met one another personally, I have a serious favor to ask of you. It only seems natural to turn to you as you always come across as a super-positive, encouraging, and inspirational force:
You see, my human pet right now is very upset with me. I can't even begin to tell you how upset she is with me. She says I've shared her personal business with others, that I've been unfair to her, and that I've even tried to get rid of her. It's been a tough week...so tough that I even tried to go undercover as you did recently:
She still knew it was me just like she still knew it was you.
Please, Mr. Manning, do me the favor of winning this Sunday at SuperBowl XLI. My human pet will be too excited to even care about our petty argument if you win. She wants you to finally "seal the deal" as she puts it and cement your legacy as one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time.
She might finally let me sleep on her lap if you were to win. Oh, Mr. Manning, I beg of you: Please WIN!
It would mean so much to me, Mr. Manning. You would be really getting me out of a tremendous bind.
Thank you so much for your time and understanding,