1. Food is at the top of my list. You can't deny me for much longer, human pet. This morning, I was banging on your forehead with my massive headbutt at four o'clock. You're going to have to submit sooner or later.
2. Tummy rubs would be nice. When I roll over onto my back in the middle of hallway, you always think I am trying to trip you. Human pet, has it ever occurred to you that I just want lovin'?
3. Treats have been absent from the tip of my tongue for a rather long time, and what is worse is the fact that I know you have been stockpiling despite my deepest longings. I know you have a whole bunch from this past Secret Paw exchange. You might want to release the flood gates when you finish your proposal.
4. Whether you believe it or not, the dining room table misses me. Because it has the special glass top, I keep it warm when you are not here, human pet. With all of your papers covering it, it is freezing. I know you cannot hear its cry of misery, but that is because you do not have supersonic hearing like I do.
5. A clean litter box should be high on your priority list. Just because Xzibit pimped my box doesn't mean he is going to come over and clean it. I'm sure he has better things to do. You, on the other hand, won't.
6. The computer chair has been missing me. Were you aware of that? It's also afraid that you're going to take up permanent residency in it so you might want to explain to him that I'm coming back. I wouldn't want him to lose hope.
7. We're so going to play with my toys, human pet. You will owe me big time when you finish your proposal. Do you not see me when I grab my toy mice and drop them by your feet, or are you going blind from all the reading you have been doing? For all the times you have ignored me, we're going to be playing for days on end.
8. I'm looking forward to not getting yelled at, shooed, or shaken off of your beautiful leather satchel. When you stop going to this class, I know I will get away with sleeping, stretching, and clawing at it. However, right now, you seem to think that satchel is holy, and I end up suffering for it.
9. My blog misses me, human pet. Sure, you say that this week was fantastic in terms of entries and that you gave me plenty of time to do my thing, but what about next week or the week after that? I hate to tell you, but it's not always about you.
10. My friends miss me! I would like to be able to read about my fellow felines, canines, and homo sapien friends. I would like to know what is happening in all of their lives day by day as opposed to wishing them a happy birthday two to three days after the fact because
11. I'm especially going to pounce on Isis like crazy and wrestle her to the ground repeatedly. For some reason, human pet, you have been entirely too stressed out that when the two of us play, you get very uppidity and tell us to stop. Here's a newsflash, woman: You're stressing us out.
12. I don't know if you're aware of this, human pet, but I can't wait to having you go to bed at an appropriate hour. These past three days with you heading off to sleep at one or two in the morning have really
13. Above all, though, human pet, and I hope you don't take offense to this, I want you to go out and have some fun for yourself so that I can have The House to myself again. You need your space just like I need mine. I just feel like I have seen too much of you lately. If you want me to make advanced plans for you, let me know. I'm willing to do that for you.
Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Posted by Zeus at 7:44 AM