Tuesday, March 24, 2009

This tail is more than meets the eye

I don't intend to just conquer this poopilicious puppy simply by means of physical force (Or phorce if you're so inclined. The ph blend in English is phabulous if I do say so!). That simply would not be my style. Anyone who has ever known me or has read my blog realizes I am a feline with an unstoppable intellect, and if it's one thing I know with all the fibers of my feline being, it is that I can outwit, outplay, and outlast a poopilicious puppy.

[I know you're sitting there, reading it, but you know if you were to let it slip through your lips, you'd lose it. Let's segway one moment to allow you to say it out loud: Poopilicious puppy. Ten bucks says you can't say it without laughing, giggling, or at the very least, snarfing. Ah, the magic of the word 'poop'.]

[Unfortunately, on this blog, we, the staff, are very easily amused...]

Where was I? Poop? The ph- sound?

Oh yes, surviving the puppy.

I have taken it upon myself to read Be the Pack Leader: Use Cesar's Way to Transform Your Dog...and Your Life by the man himself, Cesar Millan. When I first read the title, I was hoping that the book would address how to channel the power of Optimus Prime in order to defeat the plump, poopilicious, puppy named Ares Megatron (In my mind, I could see it happening, just like this.). After a few pages, though, it was clear Mr. Millan didn't know anything about Transformers, and I was sadly disappointed.

I'd been hoping to cock back a cybertronium alloy plasma cannon on that puppy's ass.

No worries, though!

I'm sure it's in the sequel, Calm-Assertive Energy: Utilizing the Power of the Cybertronium Alloy Plasma Cannon to Transform Your Dog...Into a Pile of Ash.



16 comments:

TC said...

I tried saying "poopilicious puppy" several times fast, but just can't do it. It would sure be funny to see a bunch of people try though.

Pedro said...

Zeus,

I've got to tell you, I am in awe of your blog! I love your writing abilities kitty. You are truly a cat above all others. Thank you for your comment about my mom's coffee table. My dad thinks my mom is crazy and the lady in the post office isn't really amused, but my mom and I are really enjoying the whole thing. I've added you to my Doggone Good Blogs. I hope you're not offended by that title - I am, after all, poopilicious! (Yes, my mom is laughing!)

Pedro

Eric and Flynn said...

Poopilicious Puppy! Haha! Trouble is it sounds like delicious. Is poop delicious? Are puppies delicious?
Poopanoxious doesn't have quite the same ring though does it.

Tuck said...

Zeus, I believe that if any cat can defeat that puppy it is you! Who needs the dog whisperer with you around?

Cory said...

I tried to say it but all that came out was "meow". I had my mom try it and she laughed! You were right!

Tom and Tama-Chan said...

Phew..... (so much better than "few....{) that puppy has no ida what he's in phor.......

Angel said...

We know you will handle the poopilicious puppy with grace and gentle slaps when he needs them!

The Meezers said...

you said poop. HAHAHAHAHAHA. i want a cannon like that too! I could use it on that orange menace (no offense) Billy. - Miles

POOP-A-LISHUS PUPPY!!! Can ME Play wif him???? - Billy

AHHHHHHHHHHH I live with stoopid cats. - Sammy

The Creek Cats said...

Zeus, you rock!

Shaggy, Scooby and Scout said...

we're saying it with the accent on the "poop"... poop-alicious puppy and yes, laffing & laffing at the sound of it!
We know your superior mind will have control over that simple brain in no time flat!

Pink Chihuahua Princess said...

Oh Zeus! You'll come around to the puppy side soon.

PinkynAsh said...

That poor poopilicious puppy has no idea does he? Mozilla told us poopilicious was a spelling error, so we had to add it to the dictionary. Nice word :)

DEBRA said...

Zeus
I have no illusions that Puppy will be no problem for you...poopie puppy...woo hoo

purrs
Abby

Bob-kat said...

Ah, Zeus. I don't think that poor pup is going to know what hit it. Though I must say, the Transformers cannon is good, and would be highly satisfying but it does your guile and cunning no credit. I am sure you can come up with far more satisfying and subtle ways of keeping the puppy in it's rightful place ;)

BTW - I agree with the comment you left on my blog. I don't know what this world is coming to either.

Halloween said...

Hi Zeus! Thanks for visiting my blog. Don't worry - you seem more than able to put the puppy in its rightful place - as your servant! You were there first, and you have the Paw of Death! I'll be keeping track of what happens!

Purrs, your new friend, Halloween

Fin said...

So good are planning ahead on all this. I am pack leader here.