Friday, July 06, 2007

Bad News

Dear Zeus,

Hello, dear friend! How have you been? I have been busy handling casting interviews for our upcoming season of The Amazing Race and helping our staff pick exotic locations and challenges for our latest group of contestants. It has definitely been keeping me busy. I haven't had much time for anything else.

I had been perusing your blog the other day when I noticed you brought up the issue of why CBS had not reinstated The Amazing Zeus. I thought it was time we discussed this as it has certainly put a wall in the midst of our friendship. It's a rather long story, so I hope you bear with me as I relate the sad details in proper order.

I had approached Bertram van Munster and Elise Doganieri, the original creators of The Amazing Race, with the idea of the sequel. When I said your name, Elise turned me and said, "Are you serious? We didn't even pull in enough ratings to beat out Treasure Hunters last season! We can't possibly have him try again!" I knew she was right, but I informed her that it might have been because the adventures were too long. Bertram interjected at that point: "Too long is right! I nearly fell asleep watching those cats visit some of those places!"

"If you can figure out a way to make it more exciting, perhaps we'll reconsider. You know sex, drugs, and violence sell. See if Zeus is willing to add a bit of spice to the offer, and then we'll talk again," said Elise.

With that in mind, I went to see Jonathan Littman, the executive producer. He was lounging in his office, ruffling some papers when I stepped inside. He stopped me though as soon as he saw me: "I hear you're trying to pitch this Amazing Zeus sequel idea, and I'm just letting you know it's not going to fly."

"Why not?" I asked.

Jonathan scoffed at me as he spouted, "You're smoking some serious crack! Let's think about it: Cats running all over the nation, visiting inane tourist attractions, having no challenges, and getting all of our financial backing?! Do you know that freakin' cat racked up a $12,930 airline fee alone? You can't be in your right mind if you think that investors are going to line up to sponsor a cat!"

"I thought people really enjoyed the change of pace," I told him sheepishly. "There was something very endearing about seeing their adventures."

"There's nothing endearing about seeing cats talk to a mechanical cow or watching them wiggle their way through a maze of miniature Chinese army men or having Derek Acorah do a psychic reading for them on the streets of London! Forget it, Phil! This is not going to happen!" And with that, he plugged in his iPod and cranked it to full blast to let me know the conversation was over.

I just want you to know, Zeus, that I tried everything in my power to make your sequel happen. I really think the only way it's going to take off is if you find financial backing independently of CBS. I'm sorry, my friend, for the bad news, but I thought you should hear it from me first.


Phil Keoghan

P.S. Please tell Marina I said hello, and that I love the photos of her on the blog.


Riley & Tiki said...

We have a piggy bank full of pennies. Is that enough financial backing?

Derby said...

Bummer. They don't know the number of cats that they could reach.

Maybe you need a deal with a cable channel. The Travel Channel or something like that? PBS?

DaisyMae Maus said...

Charmee has pledged all of his Temptations® money that he earns by recycling bottles and cans ... That's about eleventy-six pennies right there (California raised the redemption value) an' I THINK that I might be able to "appropriate" Mom's plastic money ...


The Meezers said...

NOOOOOOOOO - we will sponsor you this year Zeus!!!!!

DK & The Fluffies said...

No Way - We totally watched every show of the Amazing Zeus. Maybe Fox will pick you up.

K T Cat said...

This is outrageous. I would have watched. Except not the running around part. I would have gone for the "cats sauntering from the bedroom to the food dish and then napping on the living room sofa" kind of race.

Diamond said...

I would definitely be interested in watching the sort of television program you have in mind. I don't have a lot of choice in my television viewing, as Lynettea controls access to the television. Only occasionally am I allowed to even watch a wildlife show and then it is mostly useless wild animals in unpleasant surrounds such as hot jungle.
Something designed specifically for the domestic cat market would go down well with me.

The Meezers said...

Hey Zeus, we nominated you for Rocking Boy Blogger award!! You can snag the pic from our blog

Carmen said...

I know I'd watch! :)

Maybe if we start one of those "save our shows" petitions?

Cheysuli said...

That's just wrong. Perhaps you should try another network. We can spice it up--we can hunt for treasures or treats or whatever in places. It would be a HUGE challenge!

The Crew said...

Well!!! If this isn't a clear case of feline discrimination, I never heard of one! We thought "The Amazing Zeus" was great, and it's not just 'cause you visited US!

I agree with Chey. You must approach another network. Maybe Animal Planet would be interested. The Crew will sign a petition if needed!


P.S. 13 grand in airfare isn't bad considering you traveled the globe!

caspersmom said...

Gosh Zeus, I'm really sorry you didn't get your sequel. They sure don't know what they are missing. They also don't know how many cats would be watching that show. Bummer!