Friday, April 27, 2007

I'm not fat. I'm just big-boned.

I absolutely adore the movie, Shrek. Honestly, though: Who doesn't? Of course, Puss in Boots is my hero, but I am sure you already jumped to that conclusion without my help. The series is extremely helpful in advocating for animal rights and equality between the species.

Imagine my surprise then when I found out that Health and Human Services were using Shrek in an anti-obesity campaign.

Isn't this what you humans call an oxymoron?

He's a big, green ogre. He's hardly svelte.

Was Mighty Mouse's or Rocky the Squirrel's calendar completely booked?

Further imagine the look on my face when I found out The Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood wants Shrek to be removed as the spokesperson, stating that the big fellah "promotes junkfood" by talking about treats and snacks and even doing a spoof on Happy Meals.

To both sides of this intense and heated debate, I have this to say:

1. If you truly cared about what kids were watching, why not take a look at cable television? Truly: I thought everyone knew cable was the devil for children.

2. I think you've made a gross error in labeling Shrek a spokesperson. He's a spokesogre. I smell lawsuit.

3. If it's that easy to get a job promoting healthy living, why not sign me up? I eat the same hooplah everyday, I sleep 13 hours out of a 24 hour day, and I get about 15 minutes exercise walking from the bed to the food bowl. I'm just as good a pick as Shrek, don't you think?

12 comments:

The Meezers said...

absolutely Zeus, you would be the purrfekt spokescat for healfy eating. The pikshur of you wif the big bowl of food would be purrfekt for your ferst campaign!

Cheysuli said...

Anti-obesity campaign? Why not a positive campaign like pro-veggies? Kids aren't going to stop getting fat until we get rid of junk food and start teaching them how to eat real food and getting them off their behinds in front of the computer or television and outside playing. Doesn't a television Shrek campaign defeat the purpose?

Kukka-Maria said...

Um...didn't I just see Shrek and Donkey in an M&M's commercial last night?

Contradict yourself much, Shrek? That's what happens when your wallet motivates your projects over your social conscience.

The Crew said...

A handsome guy like you would be a perfect spokescat for the feline population out there, but as for human kids, the parents need to turn off the TV and computer and kick these lazy kids outside! To blame childhood obesity on poor Shrek who is only an actor...unreal.

Carmen said...

Zeus, I'd support you as the spokes-feline for anything. :)

Mert said...

;) What Carmen said. :D

Parker said...

But ya' gotta admit, that M&M's commercial is pretty darn funny! Anyway, Zeus, you would make a fabulous Spokescat!

Ariel said...

I think your better than Shrek and cuter.

yao-lin said...

proposterous! Really!!!! Over here in the UK it's all anti obesity this and anti obesity that. I don't really think the government cares because if they did they would ban Maccy D's!

Tara said...

"Shrek" and "anti-obesity". Somehow I can't see them in the same sentence.
Tara

Bob-kat said...

LOL. Nice one Zeus. It's things like this that make me shake my head and sigh.

I love Shrek too :)

Sparky Duck said...

Im stunned no one has scooped you up for a Sealys perfect sleeper ad