Thursday, April 26, 2007

Thursday Thirteen, Edition #31

13 reasons Isis has declared war on Fuzzy Bear

1. The constant exploitation of my paranoia has reached epic proportions and must be stopped.

2. I've asked him to stop touching my butt, but apparently, he's deaf because he just keeps doing it with this sadistic grin on his face.

3. Doesn't he know it's a crime to be cruel to the mentally ill?

4. I can be sitting quietly in a room, at one with myself, and from out of nowhere, a gigantaur voice will erupt sending my heart into palpatations: HELLO ISIS!

5. He doesn't acknowledge my hissing means "no".

6. Making me snuggle isn't my idea of a good time.

7. I've never once been able to catch his wagging fingers when we play "Wagging Fingers".

8. Fuzzy Bear has aligned himself with Ricardo Montoya* (blasted little monkey!) and has shot him at me several times.

9. He's almost stepped on me several times because he's so freakin' huge.

10. He thinks just because he can manhandle me that he can have his way with me. Sorry, but dinner and a movie must come first.

11. All of The Mama's friends know not to bleepity-bleep with me. Why doesn't he?

12. Because he said I was "the most beautiful ugly cat in the world". What the bleep does that mean?

13. Do I really need a reason if I'm crazy? Maybe I just bleeping feel like it.

*Ricardo Montoya story coming soon, but use your imagination for now!


The Meezer Gang said...

This post is hilarious!!! Thanks for sharing! (he touched your butt??? ewe!)

Carmen said...

Can't wait for the ricardo part of this story. Isis, we're all sending good thoughts your way in dealing with this horrible bear. ;)

Kristin said...

You go! Fuzzy Bear won't know what hit him!

Tink said...

I think #13 is the best reason! Go girl! Bears should know how to behave in the company of Isis. :-)
My TT is a list of 13 things I do on the computer.

Sparky Duck said...

kitty xanax?

Nathalie said...

This bear has simply crossed THE line, I’m with you Isis!

The Meezers said...

hahahahahaha Isis, this is the bestest thursday thirteen. Mommy shot diet cherry coke out her nose again! we love it when that happens.

we can't wait for the Ricardo Montoya story.

The Crew said...

Maybe you should consider getting a restraining order against this perverted butt toucher!

Kuanyin said...

Hilarious're a great humor writer! Happy TT!

Derby said...

Gee I don't have that kind of problems with my bear. Mine must have learned manners.

Kukka-Maria said...

Why the bleeps, Isis? Let the profanity fly!