Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Thursday Thirteen, Edition #29


Thirteen Reasons My Human Pet Won't Make Me My Own Pet Food

1. Certain foods have to be avoided from the recipes. No pork is a big one to keep in mind. Apparently, whether we realized it or not, felines are either Orthodox Jewish or Muslim. Who knew?

2. There will be no mixing of dog food ingredients. I apparently require more protein than most canines which translates into more money which translates into no filet mignon for me.

3. My human pet informed me that, "This was not Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous."

4. Overdoses of Vitamin A can be toxic, and well, if you know my human pet in even the slightest, then you know how terms such as "can be toxic" affect her, i.e., paranoid and anxiety-ridden to the point of paralysis.

5. Many cat food recipes can be found on the Internet. We all know how truthful the Internet can be.

6. Apparently, most of these recipes contain vegetables. I don't know about you, but the thought of consuming broccoli, cauliflower, or even brussel sprouts didn't sound appealing before so even with the scare of recalled food, it still doesn't sound appealing. I'd consider it if there were cheese sauce to be had.

7. Unfortunately, because I have been unable to kill several mosquito hawks and one frog that came into The House, there will be no custom cat food.

8. Use of garlic salt seems high on the list of spices for homemade pet food. I have no interest in garlic or salt. Whatever happened to plain old meat, raw and dripping?

9. When I persisted she make me my own food, she exclaimed, "You'll eat what I put in front of you, and you'll like it."

10. There was also the infamous line of, "If you don't want to eat it, you can starve for all I care."

11. I personally enjoyed the argument that since I was named for a god, I should summon my own food. Note to human pet: Just because I have the name does not mean I have the power.

12. My human pet also pointed out that she would not "pimp my bowl."

13. "I don't have time for that." This is her go-to answer when I question her. I'll remember that the next time she wants me to make time for her.

28 comments:

scooper said...

You mean everything I read online isn't true? *gasp*

Carmen said...

i can't cook human food worth a crap, I'm sure my cat would refuse whatever I made him.

Babystepper said...

Sounds like you'd better get used to bagged/canned food.

Parker said...

My Mommy is with your human on this one. My Mommy says she has "enough on her plate," whatever that means. She said that she will continue to watch and read everything about the food we eat and make "informed decisions." Hmmph, whatever - just feed me!

Bone said...

Pimp my bowl. lol

That seems like the least she could do, Zeus.

Sparky Duck said...

dry food is better anyway, its there anytime you want it.

Kaze, Latte, or Chase said...

Really, but we thought the Internet was always right? Hmm...that shakes the foundations of my life!


Kaze

Mama Duck said...

Ha ha ha, I can't imagine having time to make my own pet food, I don't even have time to make my own food from scratch.

Aloysius said...

There's a veterinarian named Michael Fox who writes a syndicated newspaper column. (What are the odds of a vet named Fox?) He advocates making your own pet food. So far, I haven't seen my humans rushing to get the recipe, though.

I personally agree with you that the best food is meat. I'm partial to fish, but I also like the occasional piece of chicken. I also drink milk out of my human's cup, which upsets her. But that's my right.

JAM said...

Hey Zeus. Sounds like your human is pretty decent. I'm owned by one cat and four dogs myself, so I try to always have proper food handy for them. Of course, Sassy, our cat is finicky, but that's a cat's right I guess.

Great list Zeus.

The Meezers said...

CATS CAN'T HAF PORK? ::THUD::

oops, Miles just passded out. We must be Catholic, 'acause we eats pork.

Mommy has been grinding up meat for us in her 'lectric meat grinder. it's ok, but I prefer crunchy food - Sammy

DaisyMae Maus said...

Wow ... What are you gonna do for food then? I highly suggest teleportin' over to my house for meals 'cuz I get turkey pretty regularly and I've got a stockpile of Fancy Feast egg soufflé ...
DMM

Kukka-Maria said...

Wait...you don't have god-like powers? And why can't you catch a mosquito-hawk?

Even BRACH can catch a mosquito-hawk!

Morgen said...

mmmm brussel sprouts with garlic salt.
Definitely NOT kitty food.
But they sure sound good to me!

I, too, laughed at 'pimp my bowl'

George, Tipper, Max & Misty said...

I'm not sure about it, but I have a feeling we shouldn't be consuming garlic salt! Me, I'll stick with my dry Iams, thank you, and rest assured I don't reek of garlic breath.

George

BigIg said...

Zeus, you're lucky she doesn't cook for you. My human did for a short time. It was the one food I WOULDN'T eat. She stopped...

Derby said...

Mum won't make me food either. And probably only because she is lazy or won't take the time. For your first reason, I didn't know I was Lutheran!

Kimo & Sabi said...

Furry good list, now we're hungry!

BTW - TAG YER IT! Come by our bloggie fer instructions...

Karen Jo said...

Garlic salt and vegetables don't sound like good ingredients for cat food to me. I wonder who thinks up these weird recipes; not cats, that's for sure.

Bad Kitty Cats & Megan said...

http://www.kosherpets.com/ - If you are Jewish our Mom found this pet food. But she is like your mom, eat it or starve. Zeus, we think you are very handsome.

Purrs....

Bob-kat said...

The "you can eat what I put in front of you or you'll startve' line is harsh but necessay sometimes Zeus. I'm sure your human pet is just looking out for you!

Ariel said...

Hi Zeus ,
Great List. I've tagged you for a short meme. Please go to my blog to see.

Tara said...

I've been trying to talk my mom into making my food ever since this pet food recall too, but I'm having about as much luck as you are....
Tara

Pink Chihuahua Princess said...

We hear "I don't have time for that" a lot from our Mommy too. That other dog is Jewish, so I was aware of the dietary restrictions you mentioned here.

Have a great weekend, Zeus.

Grr, Midnight & Cocoa said...

they do sell plenty of "fresh" cat food at the pet store...birdies, fishies, lizards, mousies - all we've gotta do is make 'em dead and enjoy the feast. why won't the people just buy us those?

yao-lin said...

Nothing wrong with a nice bit of fillet steak once in a while. You need to re-train your slave! Only joking, even I wouldn't expect my slave to make me cat food from scratch. I'll let the butcher do that.
MOL

One-Eyed Jack said...

Garlic salt? Garlic Salt?!? What the h....eck?!? Cats aren't supposed to eat anything from the garlic and onion family of veggies!! Garlic salt?!?

Jack's OTW here. I've been doing some reading, and I was planning on a post on Jack's blog in the next couple days. There's at least one company in Canada that sells a 'just add meat' mix for cats (all the necessary vitamins and stuff are in the mix). For what that's worth to you.

I think, I'm just guessing, the vegetables are to provide nutrients that aren't in ordinary supermarket meat. After all, when cats eat mice, they're also eating partially digested plant matter. I was going to ask one of the company's that make no-grain kibble about that.

Mu shue Pooh King Cat said...

I queen Lilly lu demaded she make my own food and she said yea right Lilly Lu!! and she sarted wiff resons but i like your even better


Lilly lu