Thursday, February 08, 2007

Thursday Thirteen, Edition 25

Thirteen Reasons Kukka-Maria Will Not Be Participating in the Miss Litterbox, 2007 Pageant

1. Alcoholic binges are not a true talent.

2. Her idea of an evening gown is a muumuu.

3. Bono is sucking up her time with public appearances concerning ISHFTCILF.

4. Unfortunately, she's still nursing her wounds from her last Ultimate Fighting Championship experience.

5. She considers her lack of entry as "giving back to the little people".

6. She thought the term "Miss Litterbox" was demeaning and demanded that the title be changed to "Miss Personal-Excrement-Receptacle".

7. As demonstrated by her stint at Wal-Mart, her interactions with the public aren't always charitable.

8. She claims to be working on the sequel to her tell-all autobiography, You Don't Have to Work Hard to Get Into My Pants: I'm Not Wearing Any!

9. When she heard Oprah was going to have 81 cats participate in order to help them "find their spirit" after their immense tragedy, the Empress would have no part in the contest.

10. She knows that pageant winners are never heard from again, and well, that just won't do for the Empress. Just look at what she said about Miss America, 2007.

11. She has self-esteem issues after finding out that she is off-the-charts-obese.

12. The pageant is a prime opportunity for Stewie-Stalker to come out of hiding and threaten the Empress with her life. She still hasn't found a good bodyguard!

13. The Empress wanted to be a celebrity guest panalist and would not have herself reduced to a mere competitor. As she herself put it: "Why do I need to compete? I'm just better!"



22 comments:

Kim said...

Being a cat owner, I found your list hilarious! Thanks for sharing! Happy TT!!!

Carmen said...

she's right. if Kukka entered, she'd just win. no contest. ;)

Barbara H. said...

LOL! Too funny!

Tink said...

Haha, very funny. Yeah, Kukka would probably win anyway. :-)
My TT is about support this week.

Nathalie said...

well, someone's got an attitude... :)
So, just out of curiosity...this Miss Litterbox, is it strictly for the female felines? Or can ,uhm, 'helped' male cats also join in?
I'm sure Proppie looks nice in a dress.

Zeus said...

Nathalie: We're going to be hosting a male version of the competition shortly after the female pageant due to the number of inquiries about it. I'll let you know when I post about that one, Nathalie.

The Rock Chick said...

OMG-this was hysterical! Thanks so much for the laugh...

Love it! Jessica

Queen of Wands said...

I'd vote for her! Aww!!

I love her page and that Stewie better leave her alone. :)

Kukka-Maria said...

You failed to mention that a contest between a SUPER-sexy feline (me) and a herd of moderately-sexy house-cats (all the other chicks) is just not fair.

There are not enough tissues in the world to mop up the tears those girls would be shedding as I lumbered down the catwalk with the tiara and sash.

[Editor's Note: Hi-freakin-larious, Zeus. You nailed this one!]

Chickadee said...

LMAO!!!! YOu're very creative...and your kitty is well...a kitty. I can relate!

My 13 are up.

Cherry Red said...

OMG! Hilarious! I have a cat, Rutherford, so I completely get this. Thanks for visiting my blog. :)

Christine said...

LOL! My cat might win this year! Not...she's too lazy.

Happy TT!

Colleen Gleason said...

Kukka-Maria knows Bono??? Will she introduce me?

LOL on the list...especially #1.

Alasandra said...

Whiskers aka the Supreme Ruler of the Universe said it was gender discrimination and good for the Empress for not being part of it.

Mama Duck said...

I think that is SO true!! LOL!!

Sparky Duck said...

If Kukka won, she would have to do the morning show circuit, Kukka doesnt strike me as a morning person

beth said...

HAHA - that is hilarious!

K T Cat said...

...she's competing for the Miss Air Biscuit contest instead.

Darla said...

Well, obviously, it would be demeaning to her to compete--that would be suggesting that she has competition, and we all know that's not true. :)

local girl said...

Boy, you sure know her well! I wouldn't want to be her competitor in any kind of contest!

Pink Chihuahua Princess said...

Goodness, Zeus. How much did the agent pay your for this!?!!?! :)

Crystal said...

LOL Too funny. I really needed that laugh today!

Happy TT!