Thursday Thirteen, Edition 17

Thirteen Human Behaviors During the Holidays That I Simply Do Not Understand

1. Having drank fifteen beers at the annual office holiday bash, you decide to tell your boss what you really think of him.

2. On Black Friday, you decide to get into a fight over a pair of cashmere gloves with a perfect stranger simply because she touched them. However, your proximity to the gloves meant you had actually claimed them.

3. You debate over whether or not you should purchase a gift for your mail carrier. You decide not to because it might get returned to sender.

4. It's acceptable not to pay bills during the holiday season because after all, no one is paying their bills during the holiday season. That's what the word holiday means.

5. No interest until 2007 sounds like an absolutely fabulous deal - until you realize that 2007 is in three weeks.

6. At a different office party, you decide to reveal your tank top...then your bra...then your naked chest to all. When asked why you did it later, you blame it on the spiked fruit punch.

7. You judge your worth based on the amount of Christmas cards you receive.

8. You debate over whether or not to buy an upside-down Christmas tree as it is the new trend for the season because it can hold more gifts underneath its branches thanks to the extra space.

9. Holiday lights on your home: A Christmas hit or Christmas blunder?

10. Procrastination! Buying your spouse that Ohhh so special gift at Walgreens on Christmas Eve. Don't forget to look in the bargain bin for that one dollar box of Easter Peeps as a stocking stuffer. Every kiss may begin with k, but every fight begins with f.

11. It's perfectly acceptable to pretend openly that you enjoy receiving that horrendous bag of one dollar stretchy and smelly plastic toys (and let's not forget the yellow goo that makes fart noises when you put your finger into it!) as a secret santa gift in front of the entire office.

12. The ideal gift for that "old fart" in your life: "Over the hill Champagne". Like that special someone, it has no fizz!

13. Saving money during the holiday season means breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend prior to December.