Sunday, September 24, 2006

Hypoallergenic felines...and homo sapiens?

Dear friends,

If you are a new reader to this blog, then you may not know that I am chronic allergy sufferer. Every year as the season changes, I sneeze, sniffle, and cough thanks to pollen, grass, and dust. I am sure there are probably other things I am allergic to, but I haven't discovered them yet. One thing I may be allergic to is my human pet. Don't laugh: it could be possible! After all, about 30% of all homo sapiens are allergic to felines so wouldn't it be logical to conclude that perhaps a similar percentage of felines are allergic to humans?

Hence, my interest in this latest article from The World News: Australia. Apparently, a San Diego based company named Allerca has genetically engineered the first hypoallergenic feline. His name is Joshua, and his birth was in response to human cat-lovers who unfortunately could not own felines due to their allergies.

(The last time I heard of a genetic experiment involving a creature named Joshua was back in the early 1990's thanks to a television show called Dark Angel. Joshua's life didn't seem to be all that great: he was engineered to have canine DNA and he had some interesting facial features as a result. He also wasn't that well received in the outside world, and most people shunned him for being different.)

I'm working right now on my letter to the scientists of Allerca. I'm wondering if I can send my human to them for upgrades so I no longer wheeze or break out in rashes when she is nearby. They could start by removing the protein she excretes that I am allergic to, and then while she's there, they might as well make other changes as well. I don't like the number of skin moles that appear on her arms and legs. I think she is too tall for me as I hate having to look up at her. Her feet also stink on occasion, and I suspect that would be an easy fix. Perhaps I'll have them look into aspects of her personality as well so that she can be made more obedient and more compliant to my demands.

After all: why stop at physical traits when we have more important aspects we need changed?

21 comments:

Carmen said...

I just need a genetically engineered cat that doesn't shed. ;) I'd go in for some upgrades, though. As a human that doesn't gain weight, doesn't worry, etc. :)

Happy Monday to you and your human pet, Zeus. :)

The Meezers said...

we could use one of those genetikally enjineered mommy's too. one that gives us treats whenefurr we ask, and doesn't ming us using her as a trampoline at 2am

DivaP said...

I have a recurring pattern where I get tired and and sore and I'm not that much fun to be around ... oh wait ... that's just before I have coffee in the morning (doh). Hope you're feeling better soon Zeus!

Dachsies Rule said...

Zeus,

There are always things we could change about our mom but then she wouldn't be the mom we know so well. We will keep her just like she is, faults and all.

Roxie, Sammy & Andy
(Maybe dogs just aren't so picky)

Ariel said...

Mommy Says she would like a genetically engineered cat that does'nt bite,shed,scratch or get cranky.

Cheysuli said...

I was actually rather appalled at the article, at first. However, I think having a genetically engineered human who's first instinct is to serve us would be lovely...

When I'm in power, can you say FEDERAL FUNDING?

Sam I Am said...

Zeus~
Maybe it's airborne.I'm sorry your suffering from nasty allergies.I do hope you don'thave to go on a lot of medication!!woof-woof

Lot's of Lick's
Sam

Kukka-Maria said...

I'm a bit scared. I know a couple of Joshuas and now that you've mentioned two have been genetically engineered...I'm going to have to keep a close eye on the ones I know. Perhaps they are robots!

Brach claims he is allergic to human dander.

Whatever. I think beings--human or otherwise--who submit to allergens are just weak...pathetic...ACHOOOOO!

Nevermind.

one of us said...

You make some interesting points Zeus. Maybe they could upgrade our Mom to only do what we wished whenever we wished......hmm......~Merlin, Shadow, Ko Ko

Tigersan said...

Upgrades, upgrades, upgrades! Me thinks some of those humans need downgrades ;)

Take Care!

Blue Moon said...

Hey Zeus! Sorry to hear about your allergies! I have a mutt that has the same thing! She starts scratching herself non stop and I have to give her meds! As for your human, I dont think they can change much for you. They may however be able to clone you a new one!!! Best of luck in your search for the allergy free pet!

Rascal said...

I'm not too sure about upgrading my humans. I finally have them trained the way I want them. Now and upgraded Catzee wouldn't be a bad idea. One that didn't bother me while I napped, didn't try to steal my treats, didn't chase me around when I don't want to be chased, etc.

Anonymous said...

I like the way you keep us updated on these important issues, Zeus. Keep up the good work!

My adopted sister Ninna has skin allergies, and it just about drives my mom and dad crazy because she starts pulling out her hair and biting herself. They've tried a *lot of things; they even took her to an animal communicator and a holistic vet. But she still does it.

Confession: It probably doesn't help any that I chase her and get her all upset.

Rosie & Cheeto said...

What an amazing study yoo have touched upon. Pleeze let us know what yer lettur says so we can use it as a template fur the lettur we send abowt owr lady.

Don't furget the baaad breeth in the AM, the occashunal steppie on the tail and of corse the bad trate of coming home late frum her date with mr. job and making us wait fur fud!

William said...

Ah, Dark Angel.

Oh, that was my mom. Who'll probably start looking for the DVDs or something. I'm too young to have ever seen it, but Mom says Max had feline DNA in her! That might be OK then!

Anyway, did you know you can take human medication for your allergies? I don't think science can fix humans like we sometimes need them to be fixed. Or I'd get some of that feline DNA for my mom.

Sparky Duck said...

I hear you Zeus, I am allergic to flea bites, but my human took 3 years to find the right vet to tell us this. Do you know how disgusting Rabbit Food is??

Miss Kittie via Sparky Duck

Grr, Midnight & Cocoa said...

Blue Moon has a good idea 'bout the cloning. our Lady's purrty well trained an almost sumwhat acceptable to us, but we needs more of her. sumtimes she's a work or asleep when we needs her fur stuff. we wanna clone her an have a bunch of hers ta serve us properly

Colleen Gleason said...

Oh, Zeus! I feel your pain.

About two years ago, my daughter brought home an article from her science weekly reader at school with an article about just this: that they were expecting to have these genetically engineered felines *shudder* by 2007...and she wanted to get one then. (We have severe allergies to felines in our family.)

She's had that article on the fridge for two years now, and keeps saying, "In January, it'll be 2007 and we can get a cat!"

Uh, yeah. I keep trying to explain to her that said "adjusted" feline is going to be several grand...but she's bound and determined.

So: don't let her see this latest article! Please!!

George, Tipper, Max & Misty said...

Zeus, this is just brilliant! My whole family is allergic to us. Mom gets by with OTC pills but everyone else takes prescriptions. If you can find a way to fix their problems, I can send all of them at once. Maybe I can get a multi-person discount!

George

Valderbar said...

I saw this. There's all sorts of gene variation. Did you see the price! That's a lot of tins of tuna, I tell ya.

Eric and Flynn said...

We's going to get our mum gee-netty-cully engeeneered to one that duzn't holler when we bring our presents back to her. She duzn't seem to like playing catch the mousie unner the washing masheen, or catch the birdie in the bedroom. We fink she must be lerjic to it.