Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Isis, herself, and I

Exciting news, everyone! I solved the case!

When Brach had finished with his investigation, I had wondered why the monster(s) would attack the sacred Lord of the Rings dolls in the garage. I hadn't shared my insight with Brach at the time, but I really thought there might be something to those movies that we weren't seeing. I knew the human pet had all three Lord of the Rings movies on DvD, and so while she slept, I popped one of them into the fancy play machine.

That's when I saw this scene:

This funny looking homo sapien was talking to himself! I thought, Wow, that seems so familiar. That's when I overheard Isis talking while she stood staring into the water bowl:

"Ok, I get it. Sheesh! So do you know who tore up the boxes?"

"Of course, silly. We did."

"We did?!"

"We did."

"But that makes no sense."

"Yes it does, silly. We've been ripping them apart for months now. We tore the bed up too, and the Mama has been on our case about it."

"Oh no!"

"Oh yes."

"How am I going to explain this to everyone? I had Brach come to investigate! He's going to be so angry I made him come down here. Everyone will think I am a liar. They will..."

"They'll never know because you aren't going to tell them, silly."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, I'm sure, silly."

"Ok then. I never tell them, and I just talk about the monster. "

"That's right, silly!"

I leapt off the couch and dashed to the water bowl. "Isis! YOU tore the boxes! YOU tore the bedspring!" I screamed.

"I so did not! You always blame everything on me! I didn't do anything! There's a real monster in this house and..."

"YOU are the MONSTER!" I shouted. "I can't believe you! Now look what you've done! Brach came all the way down here from West Michigan, traveling over 1228.28 miles, and for what? Just to find out YOU did it? You're sicker than I thought, Isis. I'm so ashamed of you," I said angrily.

"LEAVE ME AND MYSELF ALONE!" she cried and ran off with claws flailing into the human pet's bedroom.

I just want everyone to know that I will be seeking help for Isis. I believe she can be rehabilitated, but I am sure it will take some time. I would like to extend a special thanks to Brach for coming down to investigate, but in hindsight, I wish it had been for a better purpose than to uncover the truth concerning my sister.

Forgive her, friends. She knows not what she does.


Carmen said...

Poor Isis. Yes, Zeus, I feel sorry for her.

But I'm glad you and Brach were able to get to the bottom of this issue. I was worried that one of the puppies from next door got in! I was concerned for your safety!

The Meezers said...

awwww. Poor Isis, we feels so bad fur her. It's ok Isis, we all do fings that we blame on monsters- like when I toss stuff off the table when Mommy is not home, or when Miles skratches the back of the couch. We unnerstand. - Sammy

NOLADawn said...

Poor Isis, maybe she just needs a few extra belly rubs?

Brach said...

I suspected Isis may have Multiple Personality Disorder when I overheard her talking to herself:

"I think Brach is soooo hot!"

"No, I do!

I said, "Ladies...or lady, there is no reason to fight over me. There is plenty to go around!"

Oh, wait. Maybe I imagined that whole conversation. No matter, it was a great trip and a super opportunity to feature...I mean "practice" my mad CSI skillz!

Renee said...

I still think that Brach should have the claw tested for DNA to prove to Isis that it is true. Sometimes it is very hard to see the truth when one is ill.

Best of luck Zeus...sometimes medication helps with these things. And sometimes human pets like having crazy animals around and don't bother to get them treated. ;o) I suppose as long as they aren't a danger to themselves or anyone it's okay.

I know that Lilly has some serious socialization issues, but I don't think that we'll get her treated.

Rascal said...

At least the mystery is solved. It could have been worse. It could have been a Kitty Monster doing all that damage.

Gemini said...

Poor Isis. What a horrible thing. Is there anyone who does cat psychology for multiple personalities? I shouldn't talk.. .I'm named Gemini 'cause I'm so changable...

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear about poor Isis.I've got to remember the monster thingy excuse though. You never know when it will come in handy.Maybe you should take it easy on her though we all make mistakes.To bad there's not a kitty whisperer like the one they have for doggie's he might be able to help Isis.

Pink Chihuahua Princess said...

Isis, honey, I think you could get off on insanity. If you need a lawyer you know who to call. hehe

George, Tipper, Max & Misty said...

Oh, poor thing. Zeus, you must spare no expense in finding dear Isis the help she needs. I see that our attorney Finnegan J. Katz, Esq. has offered his services. I can tell you from personal experience, he's the best and doesn't charge much at all!


THE ZOO said...

hey isis wes have some ghosts thats lives wiff us. their names are notme and ididntdoit and idontknow. they are always doing everyfing to try to get us in trouble.

Lisa said...

Aaawww Poor Isis. I read this case yesterday at Kukkas, and it had me rolling in hysterics. I just knew Isis was guilty! Isis has issues! I think she needs counseling! Good luck!

Fat Eric said...

Ohhh dear, Zeus, I didn't realise Isis's personality disorder was so serious. I hope you can get her the help she needs...before something really bad happens!

Scooby, Shaggy & Scout said...

Put her in a padded room for awhile and see if that helps.

Edsel/The Pooch said...

please get her the help she needs.

PrincessMia said...

Poor Isis. Perhaps the stress of having such a famous travelling brofur has mad her crack a little bit. I hope she gets the help she needs. I'm here for you sisfur Isis!

Lilize said...

hahahaha hilarious :D

but i'm glad you solved this mistery and you can (can you?) sleep in peace now :D

Samantha said...

Poor Isis! My husband accuses me of multiple personalities! I think it's his fault though, LOL, He can make me mad THAT QUICK! SO, maybe Isis did it, but maybe it's actually Brach's fault? LOL
I dont know, maybe she just needs a good lawyer and an even better shrink!

Grr, Midnight & Cocoa said...

she's not possessed, is she? does her head effur spin 'round? you should check fur that.

Eric and Flynn said...

Oh no,poor Isis. Zeus ,you must help her. She needs you now more than effur before. She can't help herself. We hope you can pull her through this

Victor Tabbycat said...

Zeus, my beans go to terrorists fur talkin bout their problems an stuff, an maybe if you study cycleology, you can help Isis. Be kind an show her you care.