Friday, August 25, 2006

The Cat and The Coffee Cup: A Fable

Dear feline, canine, and homo sapien friends,

Yesterday, I received my order from Kukka Couture, and I was ever so excited! I could not wait to sip my water from my new coffee cup, pouring over the many different blogs I visit everyday. I could not wait to stare longingly admire The Empress' face on my new magnet as it shimmered on the door of the refrigerator.

I placed the magnet in its prepared place on the refrigerator without any difficulty. However, when I attempted to use the coffee cup, I found that my paws were not willing to follow my heart's desire. I simply could not a) get my paw to hook around the cup properly and b) I could not get my snout (blasted whisker humps!) to fit through the circular opening.

Frustrated, I went to the human pet and asked for her assistance. She said to me, "If at first you don't succeed, try again." Well, I returned to the problem at hand, and I focused on lifting the cup with my paw. However, it fell to the kitchen floor and almost broke!

Becoming worried, I returned to the human pet and said, "Please! Help me use my new cup!" She said to me, "You can if you think you can. " Determined to make this work, I returned to the meddlesome coffee mug with a renewed sense of purpose.

Instead of trying to lift it, I stuck my nose as far down as I could! The pain was excruciating, but I worked through it. I shot my tongue out trying to lap up the water at the bottom, but it was no use! I was simply not getting anywhere with this confounded cup!

Tired, angry, and downright baffled, I stormed off to recollect my thoughts. Surely, there had to be some way to use this cup that I had been desiring for so very long! When I calmed down enough to continue my efforts, I returned to the kitchen only to find this:

THE NERVE OF HER! Her sly, little grin! Her thumbs-up! I had no words for her arrogance!

The moral of the story: Just because something may seem like it can't be used by another doesn't mean you automatically STEAL it from him so you can enjoy it for yourself....HUMAN PET!


George, Tipper, Max & Misty said...

Yes, we guys that have manly whisker humps do have a problem with cups. I've learned I can only drink from a full cup while Tipper, who has a smaller face, can get her face almost to the bottom!

Luckily your cup wasn't damaged and you should hide it in a secret place if you don't want your pet using it!


Patches & Mittens said...

Maybe you should put your cup on the shelf to be admired. Momma has a whole glass cupboard of stuff like that she doesn't want pussy paws touching.


Renee said...

I agree with the Full Cup method of feline drinking. We have a snapshot of Lilly drinking from one of DD's cups and her entire snoot is in the cup...not pleasant for her, I'm sure. But the feline face is more refined than a mere dog and the inserting of the entire face into the cup is neither effective or desirable.
So sorry that the human pet was unhelpful for you and snagged your drink.

The Meezers said...

Maybe you should put it on a shelf for safe keeping, and maybe booby trap it so that human hands can't touch it. Speaking of Kukka stuff - MOOOOOMMMMMMM??? Where'd my T-shirt go? I slepted wif it for 2 nights and now it's gone!! - Miles

Kaze said...

Oh that wasn't very nice of your human pet at all. I'm sorry about the big whisker humps, I have a very narrow rat-like face so I can stick my head in all sorts of mugs.

At least the magnet is shimmering on the fridge!

Ariel said...

Zeus Humans can be such showoffs sometimes.I love to sip from cups too.Your mommy has to fill it to the very top. Next time do what I do when my mommy's being stubborn.Gently tilt the cup till it tilts on it's side spilling it's contents.Then quietly lap it up staring at the Human all the time.When finished get up slowly and just walk away...Revenge is sweet.

Kailani said...

What nerve! No wonder she wasn't trying too hard to help you out! You should make sure she isn't using anything else of yours! BTW, I didn't know they were called "whisker humps"! LOL!

DEBRA said...


I fink your human pet wanted that mug for herself all along that is why she didn't want to help you.


Gemini said...

Oh if I got a mug that said that about Kukka Maria, and Momma stole it, I would be furry mad too.

Emma's Kat said...

::gasp:: Shame on your human! Confession: I would have probably done the same! I LOVE coffee mugs! Sorry Zeus, I am only human after all! Lol... ;)

Cal the Wonderdog said...

Oh wise one Zeus, you are ever so manly and magnificent. But to be outsmarted by a human!

By the way, I recommend tea, it is rehydrating and has built in antioxidants according to the latest studies.

That is, when you can't get Guinness, of course. :-)


Dianne said...

Your goodie cup was stolen Zeus! Tell your ma to keep kitty treats filled to the top in it for you!!

Carmen said...

yeah, your human pet wanted that mug for herself, Zeus. :) And who wouldn't want a kukka mug?

Kimo & Sabi said...

I tried using one of those cups things before and got my head stuck in it!

I LOOOOVVVVVEEEE Kukka-Maria - she's hot!

Grr, Midnight & Cocoa said...

Well, you could try my method. I like to dip my paw in and scoop some water out to slurp off my paw. Sometimes I'll scoop it out and fling it around, or make a nice puddle on the floor, but that's mainly for entertainment purposes.

Zeus, you should ask for a straw. There's a good chance you'll be able to use it but, if you fail, you can grab the straw with your teeth and run around with it.

Dude! You got jacked!

DivaP said...

Shame on the human pet! But you can't blame a girl for getting what she wants can you? The question is when are you going to have your own fabu line of things so we can get some?

Gemini said...

Your human pet could get her own Kukka Maria mug. I think Cheysuli may even have a mug too... Then you can use your own.

Mommy the Maid said...

Us human pets can be quite sneaky. :D

Rosie & Cheeto said...

What a shame. Yoo shuld denie headbutts and cuddles from her until she fills yer cup to the top so yoo can drink frum it. Shame on human pet!

NOLADawn said...

Waiting for mine to come!! I'll be sure to share mine with Charlie, he thinks my cereal bowl is his anyway :) I'll put the magnet at their level on the fridge, so they can be mesmerized by her loveliness.

Sdit. said...

Zeus you should tell your human to buy herself her own mug and then MAYBE you can share the magnet!

Sophie does wonder whether Zeus is contemplating his own merch line?

Tigersan said...

Ohhhhh... you could have used that cup for other things too! Think "litter reserves" ;). Come to think of it, you could still use it for reserves :). Me thinks Empress Kukka-Maria wouldn't mind ;)

Dachsies Rule said...

Zeus, how could your human do such a thing to you? Perhaps you need to trip her to show her your displeasure. Just make sure she isn't carrying YOUR mug at the time. Then do that "cat stare" thing. We have seen that be very effective.

Roxie, Sammy & Andy

Bob-kat said...

Never mind Zeus, perhaps something more suited to a felines needs would be more appropriate? What you need is a pair of opposable thumbs I'm afraid :-)

My cat Bob prefers human bowls - much easier on the whiskers!

Beau Beau & Angie said...

Silly human pet. What does she finks she's doin'? I'd demand that cup back right now.

Eric and Flynn said...

The nerve of it, not only pinching your mug, but flaunting it too!!My face is too big to go in a mug,but Flynn drinks effurryfing off his paw. He eats his Stinky goodness like that too, then flicks his paws to get the gravy off an gets it all over the floor an walls.

Rascal said...

So your human stole your mug. Hmph. The nerve of it all. She should have to go stand in the corner and count to eleventy-squillion.

Nathalie said...

Poor Zeus!
Human pets are so nasty sometimes!
Just remember: they can't help themselves; they’re just not as smart and sophisticated as we are, so we need to forgive them for these things.
Of course, if that doesn’t help you can always knock over a few things so they break.
I noticed my human pet is very sensitive to that.

Good luck!

Pass The Torch said...

Very funny!

Pass the Torch

Derby said...

Kukka should have made water bowls for her admirers, not coffee cups for the beans..