Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Who shall play Zeus in Empress Kukka-Maria's tell-all documentary?

Hello my exquisite felines and delightful human friends,

I was skimming through the blogs this morning, when, to my surprise, I came across this tidbit from the Empress Kukka-Maria:

Q: Who would you like to star as you when they make the story of your life into a movie? What about your Tomcat Stable? Who would play William, Moose, Buddy and Zeus?
A: Um, is this a trick question? I would play myself! There is no other actress as talented as me when it comes to portraying me. But, if I had to choose someone else because I was neither available, nor interested in doing the role, I would have to choose...Natalie Portman. She is very talented and beautiful, but not quite as talented as beautiful as me. I figure she would do a great "impression" of me without causing people to forget that there is nothing like the real thing. I have some thoughts on who I would like to play my boyfriends, but I would, of course, defer to their desires on this one.


I nearly choked and spat my morning cup of water! Who would I want to play me in a movie concerning the Empress' life? I never thought I would even have to consider such a thing, and yet, the wheels in my head started turning. Would I want him to be the metaphorical "perfect cat": tall, dark, and handsome? Would I want him to be slightly geeky, but enormously attractive? Perhaps young and naive with genuine good looks that aren't overbearing?

After much debate, I decided that these were the three best possible choices:

Adrien Brody: His characters are always full of sensitivity, compassion, and willing to be a little eccentric in order to accomplish their inner-motivations. I could see him capturing the essence of my intellect coupled with my dashing good looks in a way that was not so burdensome to watch. I also loved his nerdiness in Dummy, but the fact that he represented someone who spoke to himself with such clarity almost makes me hesitant to have him play me as that is not a thought I would like to perpetuate about myself.


Sir Anthony Hopkins: Here is someone who has so much talent that he ranges from playing a linguistic, psychopathic (yet somehow humorous!) serial killer in Silence of the Lambs to a mysterious yet quaint stranger in Hearts of Atlantis. I think Sir Hopkins could do wonders for my reputation and bring a whole new audience to my weblog through his work. After all: He is a knight! How awesome would that be to have that kind of association? Plus, he is quite well-featured as you can tell, and in this picture, doesn't he seem to possess some ginger coloration? Clearly, a good choice.

Sean Bean: Personally, the human pet has something for the British accent. She just goes bonkers, foaming at the mouth practically, when she listens to that pristine speech. With Mr. Bean, he could lead people into believing I was English so I could have that kind of increased sex appeal with the ladies out there, and let's not forget his stellar performances in The Lord of the Rings or Silent Hill. (He should have been in more scenes of Silent Hill if you ask me!) Granted, that would kind of stink if I had to do any sort of interviews since I can't even properly fake a British accent, but if they can do voiceovers for Azrael, then I am sure they could help me out.

13 comments:

Gemini said...

I don't know Zeus, Anthony Hopkins looks rather scary. You can't help but think he might just take a bite out of his costar and that would really piss Kukka off!

DEBRA said...

Zeus

You picked some good actors to chose from! But you could play yourself and that would be best, wouldn't it?

*ABBY

Ayla said...

Those are some good choices. The Mom says she's a fan of all of them, but Hopkins is just too old for you. Also, none of them are nearly as handsome as you are.

PrincessMia said...

I like Mr. Bean, but I'm not too sure about the British accent. We will have to teach him the Houston accent. Do you have a Houston accent, Zeus, or just Regular Texan? There's all sorts of subtleties. This is very interesting.

Kukka-Maria said...

Oh, Zeus...great choices! If I play myself, I wouldn't mind nuzzling Adrian Brody (loved him, loved him, LOVED HIM in that Diet Coke commercial).

Gemini has made me nervous about Sir Anthony Hopkins. I don't know if I'd look good with a Manx tail!

Now that you've chosen your actors, Zeus, we need to focus on having a torrid love affair that will give my life movie an "R" rating...Purr...

The Meezers said...

Mom says "Sir Anthony" - He's her favorite. But we agree wif Abby - you should play yourself.

Fat Eddy said...

Hey Zeus, I was reading your blog just a few minutes ago and must question your choice in Adrian Brody. I know he was great in The Pianist, but did you see him as the crazy person in the Village. That movie scared me so much when my people watched it that I hid under the chair and when my female person got up to go to bed she forgot I was under there and put the foot stool part down and I was locked into the chair all night. I thought it was funny at first, but then they turned off the lights and all I thought about all night long was how wierd Adrian Brody looked. I had a real freak out about 2:30 a.m. (Ended up scratching a hole in the carpet under the chair trying to get out, and made one of my fingers bleed.) Then I had to go to the vet and I'm really pissed with him too 'cause of that operation thing he did to me. And, that thermometer thing. WTF is that about?

Come see me at my blog again soon.

The Meezers said...

Good luck to your human pet on the GRE!!!

William said...

Thank goodness you didn't name the other Mr. Bean. Because Rowan Atkinson in his Johnny English persona would do a fairly adequate job as me. Plus, he always gets the girl.

Scooby, Shaggy & Scout said...

I'll play you Zeus, but only if Kukka plays herself...-Shaggy

George, Tipper, Max & Misty said...

Zeus...there is no one that can portray you better than YOU! You are handsome, charming, intelligent & witty. What human could capture all that and bring it to the big screen?
You are destined to be a star.

Diva Kitty said...

DKM and I vote for Mr. Bean or James Purefoy.

K T Cat said...

Zeus,

Have you considered having Keith Richards portray you?