Who shall play Zeus in Empress Kukka-Maria's tell-all documentary?

Hello my exquisite felines and delightful human friends,

I was skimming through the blogs this morning, when, to my surprise, I came across this tidbit from the Empress Kukka-Maria:

Q: Who would you like to star as you when they make the story of your life into a movie? What about your Tomcat Stable? Who would play William, Moose, Buddy and Zeus?
A: Um, is this a trick question? I would play myself! There is no other actress as talented as me when it comes to portraying me. But, if I had to choose someone else because I was neither available, nor interested in doing the role, I would have to choose...Natalie Portman. She is very talented and beautiful, but not quite as talented as beautiful as me. I figure she would do a great "impression" of me without causing people to forget that there is nothing like the real thing. I have some thoughts on who I would like to play my boyfriends, but I would, of course, defer to their desires on this one.

I nearly choked and spat my morning cup of water! Who would I want to play me in a movie concerning the Empress' life? I never thought I would even have to consider such a thing, and yet, the wheels in my head started turning. Would I want him to be the metaphorical "perfect cat": tall, dark, and handsome? Would I want him to be slightly geeky, but enormously attractive? Perhaps young and naive with genuine good looks that aren't overbearing?

After much debate, I decided that these were the three best possible choices:

Adrien Brody: His characters are always full of sensitivity, compassion, and willing to be a little eccentric in order to accomplish their inner-motivations. I could see him capturing the essence of my intellect coupled with my dashing good looks in a way that was not so burdensome to watch. I also loved his nerdiness in Dummy, but the fact that he represented someone who spoke to himself with such clarity almost makes me hesitant to have him play me as that is not a thought I would like to perpetuate about myself.


Sir Anthony Hopkins: Here is someone who has so much talent that he ranges from playing a linguistic, psychopathic (yet somehow humorous!) serial killer in Silence of the Lambs to a mysterious yet quaint stranger in Hearts of Atlantis. I think Sir Hopkins could do wonders for my reputation and bring a whole new audience to my weblog through his work. After all: He is a knight! How awesome would that be to have that kind of association? Plus, he is quite well-featured as you can tell, and in this picture, doesn't he seem to possess some ginger coloration? Clearly, a good choice.

Sean Bean: Personally, the human pet has something for the British accent. She just goes bonkers, foaming at the mouth practically, when she listens to that pristine speech. With Mr. Bean, he could lead people into believing I was English so I could have that kind of increased sex appeal with the ladies out there, and let's not forget his stellar performances in The Lord of the Rings or Silent Hill. (He should have been in more scenes of Silent Hill if you ask me!) Granted, that would kind of stink if I had to do any sort of interviews since I can't even properly fake a British accent, but if they can do voiceovers for Azrael, then I am sure they could help me out.