In light of our new predicament with the Backyard Tree, I'm accepting suggestions on how to raise money. Feel free to be as creative as possible. I will not tolerate this foliage freeloader frisking from furrowed pipes.
I'd offer a prize for the most creative suggestion, but you'll only end up with my undying gratitude. Hopefully, that counts for something.
Hoping not to be entangled by roots in my sleep,