Monday, June 22, 2009

Scalding shite

Dear human pet,

I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not sleeping in the garage anymore. In case you have noticed, let me tell you why: It's freakin' hot in there! It's well over 110 degrees, complete with swallowing, swaggering, and sweltering.

I know you know how hot it is because you have yet to step foot in the garage during the daytime hours. You would rather stay up all night long to complete your laundry than to do it in the middle of the day. I find that utterly ironic considering your clothes come before my needs.

My bathroom needs, that is.

How is it that you expect me to take a decent trip to the litterbox in 110 degree heat? Yesterday, I nearly burned my back paws off pissing into the searing sand, but thank goodness it oxidized before it hit the litter! And let's not forget that all of those noxious fumes from my business just add to the overall blazing broiler that has become the garage. Did you just gag? I hope you did.

Human pet, you will move the litterbox into the house this instant! I will chafe no longer while using my not-so-porcelain throne! I will tolerate the torridity no longer!


23 comments:

The Meezers said...

hey, pillows make great pooping spots Zeus! so do shoes!

Mack said...

Our garage is scalding hot too. We like to poop in the living room when mom's not looking!

Cheysuli and gemini said...

You tell her Zeus. That is just so wrong.

The Creek Cats said...

MOL!!!

Eric and Flynn said...

If she doesn't get the message, you should pee and poop at random throughout the house until she does.

Angel and Kirby said...

Poor Zeus! It is very hot in Texas and we would not like the litter box in the garage, either. We do like to go out there at night and plan, though!

Parker said...

You tell her Zeus!!

Max said...

There are ALL kinds of places you can poop in the house to get your message across. Aside from the time honored tradition of pooping on pillows, might I suggest doing so in the bathroom sink? This is highly effective, especially if you time it so a person finds it first thing in the morning...

The Kitty Krew said...

Listen to Max, Zeus, he's the expert on poopage for revenge.

We hope your beans wise up soon.

Purrs and hugs,
The Kitty Krew

Tom, Tama-Chan and Sei-Chan said...

Oh dear.. .That does sound like a bit of a big problem, Zeus, so we hope the human pet listens.

Your Friends,
Tommy and The Girls

Cliff and Olivia said...

We hope those are fahrenheit...

Either way - your human should listen to you.

The Crew said...

I don't think you could state your case any more clearly, Zeus. If she refuses to move your litterbox into air conditioned comfort, you may have to take this to the next level. I hope it doesn't come to that.

Mishkat said...

We laughed when we read the post, and we laughed even harder when we read the comments. (Our mom says stuff like this should be censored so we don't get any ideas!)

Anyway, we agree that the box should be moved BEFORE you "take it to the next level"!

Purrs from Franklin, Dobby, and Tasha

The Island Cats said...

Zeus, you need some air conditioning....

Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Hold it PurrBreath!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra

Fin said...

Call the ASPCA

Cory said...

Remember Zeus, you have rights! This is completely inexcusable. Demand an airconditioned room for your litter box.

Lorenza said...

Does not sound like the best conditions to do your business!
I hope she got the message!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Tuck said...

That's right Zeus...it's time to lay down the paw in your house!

TC said...

Your human pet is really lucky you aren't like my brother and sister-in-law's cat. She has perfect "doing business" conditions and STILL poops all over the house!

You're such a good boy, Zeus.

Fat Eric said...

Eeek, that does not sound very nice, Zeus. Definitely you should use the whole house as your litterbox until she moves your box somewhere cooler. I am glad it is not that hot here.

Jan's Funny Farm said...

Yes! We agree. Your throne should sit in air conditioned comfort, not in the blistering sands of the garage.

In fact, we should tell Jan to move our litter in here where the air conditioner will blow on it.

Derby said...

A few poops on the pillow, couch, chairs, that should get her to move it. Mine is in the nice cool dungeon.