Friday, April 03, 2009

Dancing with the Poker Stars

Let's get one thing straight:

1) My human pet cannot dance.

She likes to think she can, but more often than not, I would compare her skill to Elaine's masterpiece from Seinfeld. My pet likes to hoot and hollar just like Elaine. She claps and throws her hands into the air as well. The only thing separating the two is my pet's dances are not so choppy and erratic.

Let's study another point:

2) My human pet will dance over anything.

She got a mocha latte for free at the local coffee house. Incoming dance. She received her biweekly check for doing her job. Incoming dance. She busted out a beat subconsciously, realized it, and now, must make sure it was not in vain. Incoming dance.

Hold those thoughts. (Feel free to take me literally and print this post out. I'll wait.)

Let me take you to last night. I am sitting next to the human pet as she plays on PokerStars. I am softly washing away the grime of the day, content in the quiet of our den. She is fixated on the glowing screen, clicking the words 'Fold', 'Check', 'Raise', and 'Call' with precision. She occasionally lets out a grunt or two, but she's focused, clearly poised to make a move.

And then it happens...




I call that the I've-got-pocket-Kings-and-you-don't-know groove. Oh, you haven't heard of that one before? I'm not surprised. I suppose then it's safe to assume you also don't know of the I-just-won-more-than-500-chips slide or the elusive I-can't-believe-I-went-all-in-on-a-weak-Ace jig.

Dear God in heaven, hear my prayer. Make the bad pet stop.

25 comments:

PinkynAsh said...

Aww Zeus she just dances because she is happy. We got a little giggle out of the Elaine and the Little Kicks visual.

Tom and Tama-Chan said...

If your human pet likes to dance, we recommend that you visit Gandalf and Grayson's blog today. Those guys will get both her and YOU toe-tapping, Zeus!

Your Pals,
Tom and Tama-Chan

Parker said...

I recognize that dance. What is it about these beans? They'll take every opportunity to humiliate us...

Tuck said...

Zeus, I love the way you give the camera with that "see, I told you so" look. Don't worry, my human dances sometimes and sings more often...singing is worse because she can't do it well and it's painful on the ears...

Hoe did your human do on her test yesterday?

Zeus said...

Pinky and Ash: It's one of our favorite clips as well. We always giggle when we see it.

Tom and Tama-Chan: I definitely will be visiting them! Maybe I can learn some real dance moves.

Parker: I have no idea, but she seems to enjoy making me look like an buffoon.

Tuck: I like that part too. Very fitting, I think. We won't know how she did on her test until probably Saturday or Monday. It takes a few days for the test to be processed. I'll let everyone know as soon as I do. :)

The Meezers said...

it's just awful when the humans think they can dance and just start moving. or more like seizing or something.

Gandalf and Grayson said...

bwahahaha! Mom is laffin and laffin at your human pet! She also said "Oh, yeah, baby!" or something like that. Our family likes music, and therefore will sing and dance for almost no reason, usually during one of our naps. So we feel your pain, Zeus!

Angel said...

Humans! WHat will we do with them.

Zeus said...

Meezers: I truly get worried every time she does it. I feel like I'm slowly losing her to insanity. It's so sad.

Gandalf and Grayson: please tell your human pet that mine does need any encouragement. No "yeah babies"! My pet also likes to sing. She even has a few nonsense songs for me. Maybe I could catch her in the act to show you.

Angel: I know. It's heartbreaking as a pet owner to see your human go downhill.

TC said...

Zeus, no way can you even compare your human pet's dancing to mine. It just doesn't get worse than mine.

The Crew said...

You do suffer so, Zeus. I'd be embarrassed to be in the same room with her with that going on!

George

The Creek Cats said...

LOL!! Love it! We can tell your human pet is very happy!
Our servant lady does a dance similar to that when she watches college basketball on tv. She also shouts profanity at the screen. Dancing one minute, screaming the next. Humans......

Bone said...

I'm just relieved to find another human who chair dances besides me.

Fortunately, I have no pet to video me doing this.

I love poker, but I always lose my patience after awhile and go all in on a bluff.

Shaggy, Scooby and Scout said...

*sigh*
The things we all put up with.

Teri and the cats of Furrydance said...

Oh...Teri picks us up and DANCES with us...waltzes, the pony, the electric slide...just be happy you only have to watch, mol

Zeus said...

TC: Do we need to have a dance-off?

SSS and Crew: The shame runs way too deep.

Creek Cats: I wonder which of our pets cusses more. Mine could make a sailor blush during football season.

Bone: I'm really digging the idea of a chair dance-off. I'm going to make this happen.

Furry Cats: I would absolutely die if my pet tried to dance with me. There will be none of that!

Eric and Flynn said...

Haha! Zeus, it looked like you were thinking, 'Oh no, here we go again'. Our mum does chair dancing too.

Misha said...

How embarassing for you, Zeus!

The Cat Realm said...

At least your human stay in her seat when she dances! Ours goes ALL over the living room when she practices her "hula" - and yes, one or the other of us was stepped upon!!!

The Island Cats said...

Her dancing does remind us of Elaine! :-)

mister jeter harris, hizself said...

wow ... furst foot loose at g + g'z place an now da "I've-got-pocket-Kings-and-you-don't-know groove"
dis iz da friday nite dance party!
harharhar!
luv--jh

Fin said...

WOW is all I can think to say ::Shakes head in wonder::

Parker said...

ps - if you wanna' try We Pity The Kittie treat, go back to my post and click on the name.
It will take you where you can order them.
3 out of the 4 of us LOVE them. We order the chicken flavored ones...

Lorenza said...

My mom dances too and I think she is crazy!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Myra said...

meow.. be happy.. at least she doesn't pick you up and dance...
or ::gasp:: does she??

just saying Howdy, from the west Texas clowder