Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Go knit your dogs some sweaters and bake them some biscuits, Martha

Listen up, Francesca and Sharkey!

Just because you have access to a slew of human pets that do your bidding does not make your blog more fantastic than mine. Sure, I'm reduced to a pet that knows nothing more than Microsoft Paint and has some mediocre skill cropping photos on Photobucket, but that doesn't mean that with your high-tech Java and beautiful layout that you're outdoing me.

In fact, you're indoing me.

I made that up right now. How you like that? Can you make up your own witty words whenever you feel like it? I don't think so.

Note to freaky Frenchies: If you're going to be wittier than me, you have to do better than using the word RUFF in a sentence, i.e. You're in the doghouse for giving us a RUFF time. I'm rolling my eyes so hard right now that I think my third eyelids have popped loose.

Come over here and find out how RUFF I can be, freaky Frenchies!

Sorry, french fries, but this is just not a novel concept. Consider yourselves on notice! I'm adding you to my Litter List!

Francesca and Sharkey: Tell your human pet, Martha, to stick to what she knows - baking cakes, decorating for the holidays, and wearing ultra-fab handknit ponchos by fellow inmates. You two had better give me fifty feet or it's an all out fabulously flailing fist-a-thon for fun's sake on freaky Frenchies.

23 comments:

PinkynAsh said...

We aren't Martha fans over here either. We are your fans, and have an award for you on our blog today.

Misha said...

Who wants to read about smelly doggies anyway?

Tuck said...

No way those woofies will ever be wittier than you Zeus. They are in for "ruff" ride if you decide to go to war against them :)

Millie said...

Oh Zeus, I'm so glad you're back. Your blog is the best. You always make me smile!

The Meezers said...

wittier than Zeus? we don't know anydog that could possibly be wittier than you! especially FRENCH dogs. really, what's the wittiest thing they could say "we fart in your general direction"?. Oh,wait, maybe that was just someone PRETENDING to be French because the French aren't even THAT witty. (and we probably have to stop watching monty python)

The Meezers said...

Zeus - yes you can recommend songs for ME to dance to! ME would love that!!!!!! - Billy

The Creek Cats said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Creek Cats said...

Zeus, we just wanted to say that we just love you and your wit!

Sorry about the deleted comment...typos!

Name: Mr. Hendrix said...

My mommy likes that Martha lady. I don't get it. The only time she had her cat on she was showing how to brush its teeth and trim its claws! Nasty.

Those doggies will have a "ruff" time being wittier than you. ha ha ha Get it? A "ruff" time. Dood, I crack myself up. ha ha ha

Angel said...

You tell them Zeus! Mom changes to some other show when that Martha lady comes on!

Cheysuli and gemini said...

Dogs could never be wittier than you. And neither could Martha, but that goes without saying...

Pink Chihuahua Princess said...

Whew! watchout, those K-9's even made it to the Litter List!!s

Aloysius said...

That's telling 'em, Zeus.

The Crew said...

My goodness Zeus...The Litter List! Is that new puppy irritating you so much you're taking your rage out on ALL dogs now?

Fear not, my friend. No dog ('specially French ones) can outdo you!

George

TC said...

i.e. You're in the doghouse for giving us a RUFF time. I'm rolling my eyes so hard right now that I think my third eyelids have popped loose.

LOL Oh Zeus. I don't think you have to ever worry that anyone will be competition for you :)

Zeus said...

Pinky and Ash: I have several awards I need to do something about. I better get on that! Thank you for thinking of me!

Misha: Um, sometimes I do, but it definitely depends on which dogs.

Tuck and Mr. Hendrix: Clever uses of the word "ruff"!

Millie and Creek Cats: Thank you so much for the kind words.

Meezers: I knew there was a reason why we have connected since day one, and now I know that reason - we both adore Monty Python. Enough said.

Angel, Cheysuli, and Aloysius: I totally agree!

Pink Chihuahua Princess and Crew: Just certain canines need to be frightened, and right now, the only two are Francesca and Sharkey. Grr! Just saying their names make me angry! Grr!

TC: Though I know pet blogs are not for everyone, I still believe there's no reason to be cliche when you go to write. I really expected more out of Martha - a woman who promotes doing things with style and class. Cliche is never in style. Her dogs need writers' makeovers!

Tom and Tama-Chan said...

Ahem, one and all... we hate to say this but we are.... FRENCH! Does that mean you don't love or like us anymore? Please may it not be so!

On the subject of the bed, Tom got his as soon as he arrived, aged 3 months, but he was never created and has always slept on a bed (not the LL Bean one) covered with a throw, at the foot of #1's bed.

From the French Crowd,
Tom and Tama-Chan

Zeus said...

Tom and Tama-Chan: I have nothing against the French, just Frenchies, as in French Bulldogs, as in those named Francesca and Sharkey. ;)

The Island Cats said...

Oh Zeus...Martha and those Frenchies don't hold a candle to you!!!

Eric and Flynn said...

We don't know that Martha person, but we don't think we would want to. Frenchies,pah! They could never outwit you.

Jasmim said...

We gave you an award, visit our blog to see ^^

Jas & Gi

Fin said...

That's right - you make up your own words! That will show them!

chandra said...

You touched my heart! thanks to Martha!!


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