Sunday, July 29, 2007

Lover? No, I'm a fighter!

Dear Zeus,

A question for you: I'm a bit of a fighter, and I'd like to know, what's the scariest fight you've ever been in? Do you fight with Isis?


Pablo

Dear Pablo,

Do I fight with Isis?

Is the sky blue?

Is the grass green?

Are the Pittsburgh Steelers the best football team of all time? (And considering you're Australian, I mean American football!)

OF COURSE, I fight with my sister! Isn't that what brothers and sisters do?

The worst fight we ever got into, though, has to be when Isis first arrived at my previous residency: The Apartment. When Isis was a kitten, she did not recognize my authority, and she would constantly get in front of me at the food bowl. Granted, she was unbelievably small, fitting into the palm of my human pet's hand, but that did not stop her from bullying her way to the very brim of the bowl.

I tried to be patient. Honest, I did, but sometimes, you just have to put your paw down.

And I did.

Right on her.

I pinned her to the tile floor and held her there, listening to her mewings for mercy. She clawed at my leg and bit at my paw, but I did not release her. The human pet came rushing over, yelling at me, screaming, "Zeus! What in the hell do you think you are doing? You're going to kill her!"

Kill her? No.

Warn her? Yes.

Apparently, though, I've needed to warn Isis now 1,617 times to let me eat first. She's one of those cats that believes she can move a brick wall with her nose if given enough time. What more can I say?

As to the scariest fight I ever had, that question is easy. Paws down, it has to be my fight with the Roo of Kung-Fu, Cangura. The match was otherwise known as The Brawl in the Fall. I honestly thought that I was fighting for my life. Don't be fooled by that innocent kangaroo face of her's! She's an all-out bitch!



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3 comments:

Pablo said...

You sure sound like my kinda guy! Somecats just hafta be told. I can't believe you're still blogging. Quelle marathon... forget le Tour de France, this is le Tour de Blog!

Sparky Duck said...

*cough* Steelers?? *cough*

Zeus said...

Sorry, Sparky...

It's not my fault the Eagles suck.

*ducks*