Human females are the most curious creatures. I think I could live my entire feline existence and still never understand them. There's just no accounting for their drastic changes in mood, decisions, or, in some cases, physical appearance.
For example, let's examine what happened yesterday afternoon.
My human pet typically arrives home by four o'clock. Normally, her make-up is worn by this point, and her clothes are a tad frumpled from sitting in her car. She smells of the scents of her day: copier ink, gasoline, sloppy joes from a school cafeteria. Her steps are tiresome, and on occasion, she takes a short one to two hour nap just to recharge.
That didn't happen yesterday.
At around five o'clock, my keen ears picked up the brisk walk of a human approaching the front door. There seemed to be a rare and yet obvious spring to the step of this human, and I knew for certain it could not be my human pet as "tired" and "spring" do not go quote "hand-in-hand" as the homo sapiens say. The door opened, and in walked this strange looking individual who acted like she lived here.
I stared for a long time at this woman. She looked familiar, but at the same time, she did not. I padded beside her calves and sniffed. No scents of my human pet to be found. Instead, she smelled of rosemary and gingko, bleach, and just a hint of lemongrass. The clothes were not even the stylish fashions my pet wore home from work.
Who was this person?
I steered back on my hind feet as my hairs bristled from head to tail. I became one with my inner-dog. There was no way I was letting this strange female into The House without a fight! I spat at her toes, and I waved an angry, fully clawed paw at her ankles to let her know that I had gone "crunk" as the humans say.
The human leaned over, and she smiled at me for the longest. Rubbing behind my ears, she subdued me with her charms and then lifted me up off of the floor.
"I don't know what your problem is, Zeus. Isis must be rubbing off on you," she said.
What passed through my mind was to the effect of, "Oh no, you di'in!"
I looked into those familiar green eyes, and I could hardly believe it.
My pet was a brand new woman! No caterpillars arching over her eyes! No dull, dark blonde hair! Why, she looked absolutely radiant!
And then I remembered that she had not told me she was going to be late or that she would be changing her look.
"Did you ask me if you could color your hair?" I asked.
"No, and if you don't watch it, I'll dye you pink," was her response.
I said nothing. I think that was a wise choice on my part.