Friday, May 04, 2007

Color your world

Human females are the most curious creatures. I think I could live my entire feline existence and still never understand them. There's just no accounting for their drastic changes in mood, decisions, or, in some cases, physical appearance.

For example, let's examine what happened yesterday afternoon.

My human pet typically arrives home by four o'clock. Normally, her make-up is worn by this point, and her clothes are a tad frumpled from sitting in her car. She smells of the scents of her day: copier ink, gasoline, sloppy joes from a school cafeteria. Her steps are tiresome, and on occasion, she takes a short one to two hour nap just to recharge.

That didn't happen yesterday.

At around five o'clock, my keen ears picked up the brisk walk of a human approaching the front door. There seemed to be a rare and yet obvious spring to the step of this human, and I knew for certain it could not be my human pet as "tired" and "spring" do not go quote "hand-in-hand" as the homo sapiens say. The door opened, and in walked this strange looking individual who acted like she lived here.

I stared for a long time at this woman. She looked familiar, but at the same time, she did not. I padded beside her calves and sniffed. No scents of my human pet to be found. Instead, she smelled of rosemary and gingko, bleach, and just a hint of lemongrass. The clothes were not even the stylish fashions my pet wore home from work.

Who was this person?

I steered back on my hind feet as my hairs bristled from head to tail. I became one with my inner-dog. There was no way I was letting this strange female into The House without a fight! I spat at her toes, and I waved an angry, fully clawed paw at her ankles to let her know that I had gone "crunk" as the humans say.

The human leaned over, and she smiled at me for the longest. Rubbing behind my ears, she subdued me with her charms and then lifted me up off of the floor.

"I don't know what your problem is, Zeus. Isis must be rubbing off on you," she said.

What passed through my mind was to the effect of, "Oh no, you di'in!"

I looked into those familiar green eyes, and I could hardly believe it.

My pet was a brand new woman! No caterpillars arching over her eyes! No dull, dark blonde hair! Why, she looked absolutely radiant!

And then I remembered that she had not told me she was going to be late or that she would be changing her look.

"Did you ask me if you could color your hair?" I asked.

"No, and if you don't watch it, I'll dye you pink," was her response.

I said nothing. I think that was a wise choice on my part.

19 comments:

Bob-kat said...

Very wise Zeus. Your human pets looks fab. I'm long overdue a make-over, I think it's just what I need now my exam is out of the way!

The Meezer Gang said...

HAHAHAHA!!!! Pink Zeus! Hmmm...Skeezix may like this idea!

Nathalie said...

You should be happy Zeus, that your pet is feeling better now! Make-overs are great!

The Meezers said...

you human pet looks fantastic!! we doesn't fink you would look too great Pink, but maybe and orangier orange would be nice.

Cheysuli said...

Ah makeovers. It's wonderful We girls are all having one today!

Radioactive Jam said...

I dunno, Zeus. I hear pink is the new tabby.

Ariel said...

Your human looks great sometimes change is good :)

kailani said...

Is that really you? It's so great to finally see what you look like. Love the color!

Kailani
An Island Life

Hot(M)BC said...

Yep, very wise choice Zeus. I don't think you'd look all that great in pink fur.
Purrrrrrrrs,
your bud Pepi

Kimo & Sabi said...

What's da difference between make over and do over?

Yer bean looks fab ;)

Zeus said...

Bobkat: Apparently, make-overs make for a happy heart! Have fun with your's!

Meezer gang: There will be NO pink in my future.

Nathalie: I am happy for her. I just wish she would not go out without telling me.

The Meezers: I will pass on your kind words to my pet. I don't think I could handle dying my fur.

Cheysuli: Fun fun!

RJ: Ahem! There will be NO pink in my future!

Ariel: I will tell her you said so. :)

Kailani: She was a bit nervous about putting her photo online. She was even more nervous about the picture when she saw some imperfections. She's too hard on herself, I think.

Pepi: No doubt, my friend. No doubt.

Kimo and Sabi: I don't think there's any real difference to be honest. Thank you for the compliment on my pet. I'll tell her you said so. :)

PrincessMia said...

Your Lady Pet is looking fabulous, Zeus! I can't believe you didn't recognize her. Makeovers a good for you.

Dachsies Rule said...

Zeus, look at what a makeover did for your pet. Are you sure there isn't just the smallest bit of room for improvement for you? Oh, maybe not, you are Zeus!

Roxie, Sammy & Andy

Tiger Lily said...

Hi Zeus. Life is better for us kitties when our humans feel good about themselves. My Mom came home one night looking strange too -- her hair was really short and red.

NOLADawn said...

Zeus, your human pet looks great. I just love a make-over.
...and, pink is so fab!

Eric and Flynn said...

Your human looks good after her makeover. We agree with you, a pink Zeus is a definite no no.

Zeus said...

Ms. Mia: I think the human pet colored her hair as a way to pay penance for having not made contact with your pet! I don't know how one plays "phone tag", but it apparently is not pleasant!

Dachsies: While it never hurts in continually bettering yourself, I must say that given the choice between sleeping or bettering, I choose sleeping.

Tiger: I guess humans need a lot more love than we felines. I don't know that I'll ever quite get this whole make-over thing.

Nola: I'll let her know you said so, and absolutely NO to pink!

Eric and Flynn: Thank you! At least the felines know it's a crazy idea!

The Crew said...

We feel for you, Zeus. Max & I have to deal with this phenomenon from time to time too, and have barely recognized Mom a few times she's returned home with new hair!

What is this need of human females to constantly change their look? We guys don't obsess over fur color, pore size or eyebrow shape...we're satisfied with our "au naturelle" appearance! This is as it should be.

George

Kukka-Maria said...

Your Human Pet is a hottie! If she wants to join the Tomcat stable, I might consider going gay.

Wait. Did I say that out loud?