"I get in there, I sit down, and we start talking about prices for the third time in three weeks, and you know damn well, Zeus, I have been all over town looking at furniture! I should have known not to go when Brad wasn't there. This woman I ended up with - would you believe she refused to work with me?"
Seated proudly on top of my current throne, I listened intently while cocking my head to the left side. I just had to ask though since curiosity got the best of me: "Who is Brad?"
"That guy was awesome! He told me about hidden sales, he worked out prices with me, and if something wasn't in the budget, he tried to find me something that worked. That's the kind of salesman you want to see your money go to."
Intrigued, I poked a little further: "So what was wrong with this woman?"
"She just would not budge! I even told her that I had been working with Brad, but she was determined to get that oh-so-fantastic half commission. I said repeatedly, 'Don't you have some sale coming up for the Easter weekend? I've received at least three flyers about furniture sales with other stores. Surely, you know what you'll be doing by now.' And you know what she said to me? 'We don't know until the day of, Ma'am. I'm really sorry.' Oh like hell you are!"
Her face crinkled up as she raised her fists to heaven, screaming, "Why, God, Why?!"
Ok, she didn't really do that, but that would have been a nice Academy Award touch on her part.
So I suppose the negotiations didn't meet with the final stamp of approval from the pet. Next time, she should take me so that instead of all the tonguewagging, I can just pluck some eyes out with my claws. Normally, people do what you want after you pluck some eyes.
Not that I would know first-hand or anything...