Wednesday, April 04, 2007

No deal, Howie! No deal!

It was nine o'clock when the human pet came back home, and let me just say that there have been very few times I have seen such a look of pure disdain on my pet's face. I don't think one would have needed to be psychic to figure out that there would be no furniture in our future. For the sake of my readers, I decided I would listen in to the rantings of this mad woman my bothered pet for the full story.

"I get in there, I sit down, and we start talking about prices for the third time in three weeks, and you know damn well, Zeus, I have been all over town looking at furniture! I should have known not to go when Brad wasn't there. This woman I ended up with - would you believe she refused to work with me?"

Seated proudly on top of my current throne, I listened intently while cocking my head to the left side. I just had to ask though since curiosity got the best of me: "Who is Brad?"

"That guy was awesome! He told me about hidden sales, he worked out prices with me, and if something wasn't in the budget, he tried to find me something that worked. That's the kind of salesman you want to see your money go to."

Intrigued, I poked a little further: "So what was wrong with this woman?"

"She just would not budge! I even told her that I had been working with Brad, but she was determined to get that oh-so-fantastic half commission. I said repeatedly, 'Don't you have some sale coming up for the Easter weekend? I've received at least three flyers about furniture sales with other stores. Surely, you know what you'll be doing by now.' And you know what she said to me? 'We don't know until the day of, Ma'am. I'm really sorry.' Oh like hell you are!"

Her face crinkled up as she raised her fists to heaven, screaming, "Why, God, Why?!"

Ok, she didn't really do that, but that would have been a nice Academy Award touch on her part.

So I suppose the negotiations didn't meet with the final stamp of approval from the pet. Next time, she should take me so that instead of all the tonguewagging, I can just pluck some eyes out with my claws. Normally, people do what you want after you pluck some eyes.

Not that I would know first-hand or anything...

11 comments:

Radioactive Jam said...

Re: eye plucking. No first-hand knowledge, eh? Hmm. What about first-paw?

Sparky Duck said...

i think furniture shopping maybe worse then car shopping!

The Meezers said...

eye plucking sounds like lots and lots of fun!

Shilgiah the Cat said...

Furniture shopping...hum...you know your pet person will probably get really really really mad if you ever need to sharpen your claws on the new stuff when you get it.

She should absolutely take you next time.

Cheysuli said...

I can't believe she didn't take you--not even for the eye plucking but so that you could be sure the furniture was comfortable for you. After all, chances are, you will be the one using it most Zeus.

George, Tipper, Max & Misty said...

Oh no! Does this mean you have to sit atop an old throne??

Anonymous said...

This isn't related to this specific blog, just wanted to tell you HAPPY 1 YEAR OF BLOGGING!

--Henry, Portsmouth NH

Kaze, Latte, or Chase said...

Furniture shopping stinks. We just got a new sofa and love seat delivered yesterday. The Tall Man hates the cost.....but its pretty and nice to jump on. They did get a 12% off sale thing...something about Wednesday's having special deals every week.

Kaze

Dachsies Rule said...

Zeus, my cat, your pet really needs to find that Brad again if she wants to get you a new throne. Commissioned salespeople are two types, sell a lot at a low margin and make money or make one sale where you might as well open the customer's wallet and empty it into yours. We hope she calms down before you need her for something.

Roxie, Sammy & Andy

Karen Jo said...

I agree with Roxie, Sammy and Andy. Your pet needs to find Brad again, if she still wants to deal with that store. I'm really sorry that she had such a hard time of it.

Kukka-Maria said...

From that description...I heart Brad. I want him selling me furniture I don't need at prices I can afford.

Hail Brad, king of furniture sales!

Death to the difficult, money-hungry, couch-bitch!