Dear human pet,
I'm sorry. You should have known better than to leave your Special Dark Raspberry Hershey's Kisses in the candy dish on the coffee table. I know you were greatly upset by the fact that I had personally taken each and every little one out of the dish and thrown them around the room, under the couch, into the television, and through the fireplace screen.
Keep in mind, though, you can only really be mad at yourself. I'm not the one who put the dish there. I'm not the one who tempted my cat with the irresistable white, dainty flags wrapped in shiny, red paper. I'm not the one who decided at nine o'clock to go to bed and leave said succubi out on the table overnight.
I hope you have learned your lesson. Next time, please purchase Hershey's Miniatures as they make terrific hockey pucks on the kitchen floor.