Monday, October 30, 2006

The annual exam

I'd love to tell you what a fantastic weekend I had, but no, it wasn't that way at all. In fact, it was downright horrible. I'm just so glad to have it all behind me; however, I suspect there's more to come.

First, we all had to wake up at 6:00 in the morning on Saturday. I had no idea why until I saw the carriers come out of the garage. "You woke me up for this? To go to the vet's? Are you serious?" I queried. This led to being chased all around the house until the human pet caught both Isis and myself.

"I lick you. I bathe you. I purr against you. This is what you do to repay me? Why? Why do you do this to me, human pet?" I lamented.

Isis, on the other hand, released a vile string of expletives.

We arrived for our appointment at 8:00. There was some crazy Dachsund in the lobby - not to be confused with the really awesome Dachsunds at Dachsies Rule! - who kept trying to choke on his leash. I hadn't thought he had any will to live as he did it repeatedly. Then he said to me with a glazed look in his eye, "I need to go wee-wee! I need to go wee-wee! Help me! Help me! I need to go to wee-wee!"

It all became clear to me. Crystal.

Dr. Rodriguez met with us. She could be a really nice lady if she weren't a vet. I was more than a tad cranky with her. I didn't let her weigh me, and I certainly hadn't like the pressure down on my lower section. She was not going to look in my ears, and when she started poking at my gums, that was the last straw. She's lucky she got a blood sample from me!

Apparently, I need to have a dental procedure immediately. Yeah...like I'm going to let that happen.

Isis, on the other hand, submitted gracefully. (That was shocking!) They weighed her, put the pressure on her, and gave her annual shots. When Dr. Rodriguez came back in, though, she told all of us that Isis was overweight! I laughed and laughed, but then she said I possibly was too. I cried and cried.

Now, Isis and I are limited to one can of wet food per day. We have to split it between the two of us. We get one fourth of dry food now too if we bug the human pet too much. I don't know how much more I can take even if it has been two days!

My life was fine until you stepped in, Dr. Rodriguez. I hate you.

21 comments:

Mama Duck said...

Zeus, maybe you'd like your Halloween costume better if you dropped a little weight, LOL!! I think you have the same reaction as my little boy had to his dragon outfit ;).

The Meezers said...

oh Zeus, how horrible - dental procedures, diets, poking, pressure. you can come here and live wif us if you want. unlimited crunchies and a whole can each of stinky goodness efurry day. and tem-tay-shuns.

Carmen said...

not a dental proceedure! ugh!

My Pooh Bear is on a diet, too. I feel so bad when he begs for more food. I hate diets, too, so I know how crappy it is. :)

Gemini said...

oh Zeus, I am furry sorry you are not getting to eat enough. That's horrible. We is getting lots right now 'cause Georgia gets whatever she wants for now but Momma says that won't last forever...

Kukka-Maria said...

Did you get a PAP Smear? Then quit your bitchin'!

(That was from my agent, by the way...)

Junior said...

Oh Zeus! How horrible! A dental and you have to lose weight!? That is just not right!

Gigolo Kitty said...

Next time bite her ankles.

One can between two kitties? What was she thinking?

Anonymous said...

Poor Isis. She does not look overweight to me. Let's have a pic of Isis. Mrs. B is constantly cranky 'cause she is on a diet, but I will not give in.

one of us said...

Yes, that is why it says BITES AND SCRATCHES in big letters on my VET record. ~Merli

Rascal said...

Zeus, I had to endure the same thing after my last visit to the V-E-T. Fortunately, the Cat Blogosphere voted that she was a quack rather than I'm overweight. Even so, my bowl is only filled once a day. But that's okay. I can help myself to Catzee's bowl anytime I want.

Dianne said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Dianne said...

Oh pooh, there's just more of us to love! Like the doc wanted me to only eat 2 oz of wet food a day with a little dry thrown in-crazy!
It gives me more time to practice my wawawawa when I want more!

KXBC said...

Oh you poor thing.

William said...

Eeeeek! I know that's going to happen to me soon too.

PrincessMia said...

Oh Zeus, I'm sorry to hear about your toothy problem. I hope it's not too bad. Poor Isis, the public humiliation might be too much to bear. I can't believe the starvation diet your Lady Pet has put you on. Why do you have to be on a diet anyway?

Maggie & Molly said...

You think your life is bad..My mom and dad got a D-O-G!!

CatDonna & Cats said...

Why are you two considered fat? You're just chubby an' cuddly is all.

That had better be one huge can you're sharin'.

We're gettin' a bit scared now. Hope our Mummy Lady doesn't start gettin' ideas.

Boonie & Teddy

Renee said...

We had to go to the V-E-T this weekend too and they had a chart on the wall showing what a fat cat vs a healthy weight cat should look like...frankly I thought the "healthy weight" cat looked too thin.

I'll have to post about our experience.

Anonymous said...

Zeus,
My advice to you is this...
You might want to blame your drunk phone call to Kukka's Agent on your visit to Dr. Rodriguez! That might get you out of the probation that she put you on! If it's any consolation, I think one of those creatures from "Invasion of the Kitty Snatchers" took your body over and made that call ;)

Grr, Midnight & Cocoa said...

aren't ya supposta weigh more in the winter ta keep warm? an instedda the dental procedure, ya need ta eat lots more Temptations Dental Care treats

Sparky Duck said...

Your just bigboned! And teeth are overrated anyway.