Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Fungus on the loose!

Hello, my friends,

Some of you may remember my battle with the evil and ruthless monster known as Sand Her. Though Sand Her ended up leaving the property, I have discovered finally what the demon spawn was here for all along:

Our bathroom walls! Sand Her eats bathroom walls!

My human pet for the past few months has kept the door to her master bathroom shut. However, last night, I noticed she had left it open by a small margin. Harnessing the power of my ultra-powerful headbutt, I knocked down the door and walked inside. What my eyes beheld was unlike anything I had ever seen!

It was like walking onto the set of Jumanji*:


Sand Her had come in and destroyed the beautiful wallpaper that was here when we first moved in. It had completely covered the walls in its gooey, green trail, leaving behind a terrible stench so other animals could know Sand Her's territory. My nose crinkled up as I gazed around at the wicked carnage. With all of the tools laying around, it was clear to me the human pet had been trying to fight off the fungi-esque trail; however, she was losing this battle to be certain.

Smiling down at me, she said, "So how do you like the venetian plaster, Zeus? This is just the first coat."

I tilted my head and gave her an inquisitive look. "How do I like it? This is a tragedy! We have to get this off of the walls at once!"

The human pet squinted her eyes and pursed her lips. She picked me up and hoisted me out of the bathroom. I heard the door slam shut behind me, and I quickly turned to paw at it to see if I could save my human pet's life!

"Zeus, I mean it! Leave me alone!"

I'll check on the human pet later today to make sure she's still alive and untouched by the disease-infested fungus. After all, you never leave a human pet behind.










*Having never been on the set of Jumanji, I can neither validate or invalidate the validity of this claim.

23 comments:

Carmen said...

Ha ha! "never leave a human pet behind". I hate to tell you this Zeus, but I think your human pet and Sand Her are in cahoots!

The Meezers said...

oh wow, how terrible. if our mommy efurr brings home a sand her, we will make shur we push it down the stairs.

Renee said...

Maybe you should just stay out of the master bathroom until the door is wide open again. I know it will be hard.
And I know that your human pet will be okay going alone in there...she's all grown up and can take care of herself in there, she doesn't need your help.

Mama Duck said...

*snort*

Kaze said...

Oh boy....that does look like your human pet is in danger. Keep checking on her!

Though I do kind of like how it looks in there....

Brody the Bulldog said...

Hmm... perhaps you should be-friend this 'sand her' - it could eventually be a powerful ally.

Gemini said...

Oh that's horrible. I hope that's really still your Momma and that she hasn't been taken over by the "Sand Her."

DivaP said...

Not to spread idle gossip, but I think that Sand Her "gets around" a lot. She visited our kitchen this weekend and did some damage!

Tigersan said...

Sand Her really did a number on that wall... well, not really a number ;)
Me thinks Sand Her's weakness might be that long black tail that likes to stick to the walls... attack that... but don't bite it... just give it some tugs ;)

Kukka-Maria said...

Just be glad Sand Her keeps her nose to the walls and not your back-side.

I'm just telling you because I've had a lot of things brush my bootay, so I have experience.

As for the "never leave a human pet behind" crap? Whatever. She leaves me behind when she leaves the house every day. What comes around...

Merlin said...

Sand Her... I will remember this name. I doubt that my Mom would ever bring such a monster into our house, but Dad likes to fiddle with monsters like that. Thanks for the warning, I'll be ready if I need to be!

amanuensis said...

Poor Zeus! When humans get into home improvement, it's usually bad news for felines--except when we buy a nice new rug for our fabulous feline to lie upon.

Eric and Flynn said...

That Sand Her must be a reely evil monster trying to eat the walls. Yoo will haf to be reely keerfull that it doesn't try to eat yer mum an then come after yoo. It's like a nitemeer.

Ariel said...

Stay Away Zeus that looks scary.

Derby said...

I think we can start a good rumor here Zeus.

Your mum is hanging out in the bathroom getting plastered with some Venetian guy.

hehehe.

William said...

No, no, Zeus. This is good, not bad! I think if you got in touch with your creative side, you'd appreciate your mom's talent. (Oh gosh, I hope my mom doesn't see this, otherwise she'll be getting all busy again when I want her to spend time on me!)

Emma's Kat said...

Lol! Zeus, you're a good boy for checking on your human. I think she'll be okay though. Keep us updated, okay?!

Chelsea said...

How terrifying! I hope Sand Her doesn't come to my house! It's bad enough the sucking machine that eats everything on the floor shows up and scares the crap out of me!

Grr, Midnight & Cocoa said...

kinda looks like somebody flung pea soup all over in there, doesn't it? our Lady actually says it's lovely and she wishes she could do something like that, but maybe she's just tryin ta be polite.

caspersmom said...

Gosh are you O.K. Zeus taking on that Sand Her and all??? So nice of you to take care of your human pet like you are. Maybe it's just as well that bathroom door is closed, maybe Sand her won't get out then. Take care O.K.

Casper

Kimo & Sabi said...

That Sand Her looks scary! (the bathroom project looks scarier though!)

Kailani said...

Oh, I hope Sand Her doesn't Get Her. Your such a good kitty to protect your Human Pet.

NOLADawn said...

While your human pet is busy with Sand Her you can claim your mug back :)