It's time to uncover the truth, my friends.
It's no secret to most that my human pet is a devoted Tekken fan. Long have I listened to her recall her former glory days in college when she would storm the local coffeeshoppes, locate the Tekken arcade, and gleefully conquer young teenage boys with her flaming fingers of fury. While sipping on mocha lattes and smoking cigarettes, she would denounce the powers of man with her avatar of war, Jin Kazama, laying to waste the male egos before her.
When she brought home Tekken 5 for her humanip (a.k.a. Playstation 2), I didn't immediately care. I would sit beside her, watch her animated responses, and note the kickback motion which indicated that she was once again on her way to earning yet another beloved character. Sometimes, I would even lay my belly on her legs and spread out to keep her seated, but alas, that was folly for I would be flown thanks to her thighs o'torque.
It was not too long ago, however, that my interest was piqued when I noticed that one of the characters the human pet had unlocked looked strangely familiar to me. Curious, I pawed at the controller, hoping to land the flashing box on the image so as to gain some more information. My plan worked brilliantly.
"Do you want me to be Roger, Jr., Zeus?"
Roger, Jr. Yes. Actually, I do.
When the image of the kangaroos (yes, kangaroos plural) appeared, my eyebrows nearly shot off of my face! I knew this mug! I knew this roo!
Leaping off of the human pet ("Dammit, Zeus! That bleeping hurt!"), I rushed into the living room to look at Cangura. (I apologize as I had pictures, but Blogger decided you would have to use your imagination!) My eyes narrowed as I took in her features, the lines of her pouch, and the all-too-innocent look in her baby's eyes.
"I'm on to you now, Cangura...if that is your real name," I hissed.
I drew my paw across the carpet and waved my claws at her. "Get ready, Cangura! Friday - you and me - right here in the living room, as soon as the human pet leaves for work. Got that?"
She just stared at me like a cold-blooded killer, her eyes empty and void of emotion.
"Fine then. It's settled! Now everyone will know the truth!"
I know I am right about this, my friends. They look too much alike not to be related at the very least, but I suspect we have been living with this well-trained fighting machine for months now without ever knowing! I need to take a stand on this in order to keep this house safe! Excuse me, friends, as I have to prepare for my match against Cangura...if that is her real name.