Michael Buffer accepts the microphone lowering from the ceiling of The House. He takes center stage in the living room, standing on top of the mosaic coffee table. He gazes intently at a crowd that exists only in his mind as his voice echos throughout the kitchen and hallway.
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! It is my honor in welcoming you to the Grand Pubah Luxury Living Room this morning for today's main event. This fight has been sanctioned by the Committee at 2922 Creek Manor and is in accordance with all state and local laws."
"In the left corner, we have the challenger in the brown trunks. Weighing in at a massive one pound, she's the upcoming contender from the land of Kohl's. She has 0 wins, 0 losses, and 0 knock-outs. She's the Roo of Kung Fu: Caaaanguuuuurrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
"In the right corner is our reigning heavyweight champion in the gold trunks. He weighs a staggering fifteen pounds of pure raw muscle. With 9 wins, 1 loss, and 0 knock-outs, he's what Rolling Stone hails, "a sheer triumph of boxing magnificence"! He's the Buddha Belly, and his mama said to knock you out: Zeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuussssssssssssssssssssss!"
"Ladies and gentlemen: The time has come."
There's a dramatic pause as Michael Buffer looks around the living room.
"Let's get ready to RUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!"
13 comments:
Zeus! Our mommy has been so excited to tell you that we adopted an "outside cat." Okay, well, I guess the more truthful way to put it is that he adopted us.
Our human sissy named him Ernie and mommy changed it to Ernie Ernesto. He is black and puuurrrrrty. Mommy bought him some yummy cat food and he just hangs out. Mommy says he's a Tom cat, but we don't understand that because his name is Ernie Ernesto!
HAHAHA. The rumble in the lifing room! We is gonna get some popcorn and we'll be right there so's we can watch. Oh, we will has to stop in Vegas ferst to put some money on the fight. What's the odds?
Holy Crap, Zeus! I hope you won't need this, but I am willing to schmear salve on your wounds if the roo gives it to you good.
I mean, I'm sure it won't happen, but...
Oh dear, Zeus, must you? Be very careful!!
Zeus, buddy, I gotcher back.
I'll, uh, just, you know. Wait over here. But I'll be there if you need me.
I put $20 virtual dollars on Zues and a KO!
But please don't get hurt. I would be so sad.
Go Zeus!
Go Zeus!
Go Zeus!
Go Zeus!
Go Zeus!
You go Zeus! You go! I'm off to get a bit of tuna treats to snack while I watch this..
Zeus- use your lightning bolt fast paws and wallop him! Zeus, lightning bolts, get it? We're betting on you.
YEAH!!!!! RUMBLE!!!!!!!
I can't wait to see what happens next!! I'm on the edge of my seat here!
My money is on Zeus, hands down!!!
I've got you're spit bucket dude!!
We would have introduced you as...
"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzuuuuuueeesssssssssssss!"
;)
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