Michael Buffer accepts the microphone lowering from the ceiling of The House. He takes center stage in the living room, standing on top of the mosaic coffee table. He gazes intently at a crowd that exists only in his mind as his voice echos throughout the kitchen and hallway.
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! It is my honor in welcoming you to the Grand Pubah Luxury Living Room this morning for today's main event. This fight has been sanctioned by the Committee at 2922 Creek Manor and is in accordance with all state and local laws."
"In the left corner, we have the challenger in the brown trunks. Weighing in at a massive one pound, she's the upcoming contender from the land of Kohl's. She has 0 wins, 0 losses, and 0 knock-outs. She's the Roo of Kung Fu: Caaaanguuuuurrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
"In the right corner is our reigning heavyweight champion in the gold trunks. He weighs a staggering fifteen pounds of pure raw muscle. With 9 wins, 1 loss, and 0 knock-outs, he's what Rolling Stone hails, "a sheer triumph of boxing magnificence"! He's the Buddha Belly, and his mama said to knock you out: Zeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuussssssssssssssssssssss!"
"Ladies and gentlemen: The time has come."
There's a dramatic pause as Michael Buffer looks around the living room.
"Let's get ready to RUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!"