Monday, August 14, 2006

Wooing Females Tip #249

After some intense research into homo sapien mating rituals, I realized that one could capture a female's attention by using something called pick-up lines. These statements and/or questions are supposed to draw a female to the male thanks to their inherent stupidity charm and wit. I browsed through tons of literature, and I feel I have come up with ten pick-up lines, that when translated into feline language, could prove to be invaluable to us tomcats.

However, since all research is truly ongoing, I would appreciate any and all feedback related to the actual success of these lines. Please do let me know the specifics of the incident and what occured so we can make a more thorough analysis!

Without ado, the ten pick-up lines I hypothesize would bring about victory with the female felines:

  1. Were you put in the pound earlier? It must be illegal to look that good!
  2. Get out of my dreams, and get into my carrier!
  3. If you were in a cat show, you'd be a 9.999. However, you'd get a 10 if you were with me.
  4. Please help a stray. Take me home with you!
  5. Excuse me, but are you in heat? [Female: Why?] Because you're making me hot!
  6. What's a nice feline like you doing in a place like this?
  7. Your paws must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.
  8. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
  9. What's the name of your perfume? "Catch of the Day"?
  10. Baby, you're so addictive, you'd put catnip out of business.

18 comments:

Carmen said...

All of those are better than foot-touching and hand-kissing, I can assure you.

Have you been to any catnip bars to test these out?

The Meezers said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. we will has to try these out on some female kitty - oh Trixie, where are you?

Renee said...

Ummmm... I'm not so sure that the human versions of these are any good...but then I've been outta the business for almost 14 years now.

I would think that a handsome Tom like yourself would have no troubles with the ladies by just being your purrrfect self!

Gemini said...

Really Zeus, we are all surprised you'd need such lines. After all you are a handsome ginger cat and who couldn't resist that? Except maybe Cheysuli...

Mama Duck said...

For a cat, I'm sure those are great..... try to use those on humans tho, and you just might get a whisker-pulling.....

Kukka-Maria said...

Why, yes...my paws are a bit tired, stud!

DEBRA said...

Zeus

You don't have to resort any of silly lines -- you're much too charming and handsome to efur have to worry about anyfink so trivial!

*ABBY

Rascal said...

Hahaahaha! You are very clever Zeus. We will all wait on a progress report from you to find out how well these actually work.

Lilize said...

hahaha

the worst pick up lines ever..

"did you get hurt?"
"???"
"when you fell from heaven!"

Kailani said...

How about . . .

I was just checking your tag to see if you were Made in Heaven.

Fiona Bun said...

It's a good thing I'm a bun...

PrincessMia said...

Hee hee, those are good. But Zeus, I can't imagine that you would even have to use a pick up line, being the chick magnet that you are.

Derby said...

Gee Zeus why do you need these crazy lines for. All of us ginger cats are chick magnets without them.

You better watch out or you might get your ears bitten or slapped.

Dachsies Rule said...

Zeus,

Are you sure those lines aren't the ones the girl cats have been using to pick up YOU?

Roxie, Sammy & Andy

Samantha said...

LMAO!! You are too cute Zeus! I dont know about them lines though...here's one you could try on your tail swishin' hunnies...

*nice paws, wanna...*

ahh, alas, I havent a creative bone in my body, but hey, it might get you lucky! LOL!!

William said...

I think I'm blushing!

Lisa said...

You always make me laugh! That ought to get you a nice little kitty sometime soon!!!

Bob-kat said...

Those made me laugh! However, I suspect that you should ditch the lines and rely on your natural charm. Thanks for dropping in at my blog adn wishing me well. I am well and truly on the mend now and feeling much better thanks :0)