1. Give them a roundhouse kick to the face!
2. Give those buggers the evil eye.
3. Hold a stare down as if you were at the Ok Corral.
4. Go skydiving. When you pull the ripcord, the G-force will make you fly up, and the fleas plunge to their death.
5. Rub yourself over with a sticky lint roller. Sure, you'll lose some fur in this process, but the ends justify the means.
6. Call in Dr. Phil for an intervention.
7. Invite all of them to sit down to watch The Dark Crystal. When they fall asleep, stab them with your index claw!
8. With the most sensitive inflection you can muster, say, "It's not you. It's me. I just need some space right now."
9. While standing on the edge of a bathtub full of water, tell the fleas, "Don't make me jump! 'Cause I'll do it! I really will!"
10. Eat plenty of pork n' beans. As they say, those beans are the magical fruit. Surely, they can help you in this regard as well.
11. If you live with other animals, tell the fleas: "Hey guys! I hear Fluffy's having a big party on his skin tonight, and it's not even B.Y.O.B.!"
12. Go Kojak. After all: bald is beautiful!
13. And when all else fails, use Revolution.
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