Friday, August 04, 2006

A cry for help

Dear Brach,

I have reviewed over some observational notes concerning your behavior, and I believe that you are perhaps the best feline to assist me in a peculiar situation which has arisen at my house. I normally do not seek outside assistance for my problems due to the fact that one never quite knows what such assistance will entail nor if the feline offering said outside assistance can be trusted, but the events I have witnessed are too mysterious for even me to ignore.

Let me start with the following example: After fifty swats at the pet door leading to the garage so I could do my feline business, I noticed that several of the cardboard boxes had been destructively torn limb from limb! I was shocked and appalled by the sheer atrocity of the scene! It frightened me so much that I do believe (and I admit this only to prove my point despite my inner shame) I piddled right there on the garage floor, and I was but a few paw-prints from the litter box.

However that was not all. When I came back inside, I went to the guest bedroom of my house, and to my horror, I saw the rabidly gouged and hollow hole in the box-spring of the beautiful bed. My mind raced as I realized quickly that there must be some monster that lives under this bed which has a strong affinity for cardboard boxes as its primary source for daily caloric intake. I believe I shook all over in such a trembling fit of terror that I was unable to have my afternoon nap in that room.

Please, Brach, you must help me in this mystery. Just make sure that when you do help, you are completely vaccinated, bring your own pairs of rubber gloves, and use universal safety precautions. After all, if it is wet, warm, and not your's, you shouldn't touch it. That's just a good tip for overall peace of mind.

27 comments:

DEBRA said...

Be furry careful Brach!

*ABBY

Emma's Kat said...

Oh Isis! What could it be?! You and Brach be careful and let us know as soon as you find out what this...thing is!

Brach said...

Oh, Isis! My heart is breaking at the stress you must be experiencing. Having observed very curious things at my own home, I can identify with your fear.

As you requested, I am on my way! I will visit the vet today for extra vaccinations (and maybe a refill on my Xanax prescription).

I'll bring 4 pair of rubber gloves for all of our paws. Zeus can go commando--sans gloves. He's so rough and tough, he probably won't need them. Also, he has called you "schizo" in the past, so, as your friend, I feel he may be dispensable. OR WORSE! He may be RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS DISTRUCTION!

Isis, please lay low until I can get a flight to Texas. I may have to call Kailani, a flight attendant, to see if she can hook a brother up with some affordable fares.

Let's take the weekend to collect evidence and we can present a full report Monday.

I'll bring my Evidence Collection Kit (complete with test tubes, UV light, cotton swabs and enzyme kit).

Isis, please lie low until I arrive. Maybe hide under the bed--but not the spare room bed!!

The Taylor CatSSSSS said...

Isis: I suggest you and Brach call CSI! This is a very serious breach of security! Is this why Zeus decided to skip blogs to Kat's? Isis: BE CAREFUL!

George, Tipper, Max & Misty said...

Isis...this is so disturbing! All your friends are concerned for your safety, but we know Brach is the right guy to help you. Keep us informed!

The Meezers said...

Oh Isis, how frightening. Brach is right - lay low. We can't imagine that Zeus would be 'asponsible for this, so we will wait fo the full report from you and Brach on Monday.

Scooby, Shaggy & Scout said...

Hang in there till Brach comes, dear. He sounds like he can get to the bottom of this strange and mysterious stuff.

cat_aunty said...

Oh no, Isis!! Be careful! Brach, you are a hero.

Mama Duck said...

Oh dear! Hurry, Brach, hurry!! The ducks would offer their help but they think it might be something that would love some pate'......

Gemini said...

Oh Brach, be furry careful. You and Isis don't know what happened there.

Rascal said...

This sounds serious. And dangerous. Please be careful, Isis. And make Brach be careful too.

noladawn said...

Brach, you are so brave! I would go but I have a window to try to sit in. Be furry, furry careful!!
Charlie
I'll be hiding under the bed, let me know what happens.
Hugo

Victor Tabbycat said...

Hey, Brach, if you an Isis need sum backup, lemme know. I found a clicky beetle last night. It was fun seein Zeus ofur at Kat's Cat of the Day. Stay on the lookout fur whatefur's eatin yur house, Isis.

Patty said...

Oh my ferrets have moved in be ever so careful they are wiley critters that do smell funny

Skeeeeezix the Cat said...

My best frend, Victor Tabbycat, had me look at the evidense becuz he suspected it mite be the work of the vishus deer. I think he may be rite. Altho I've never PERSUNULLY seen the vishus deer eet bloo beds, I woodn't put it past them. They probly smelld sum cat smell on the bed, and tore into the bed looking for the cat. The damije to the garage DEFINITLY looks like the werk of the vishus deer. They tare apart EVRYTHING looking for tender yung cats to eet. If I were yoo, I'd never go in that garage agin!

WendyWings said...

Right click and save picture as, I think you are being sent to photobucket because you are just clicking on the picture ( as in left click)
if you are still having issues email me at angelboysmum@hotmail.com and I will email you the picture :)
and ACTION !

Zeus said...

Thanks a lot, Miss Wendy! I figured it out, and now it is posted on the sidebar with another link back to you. :)

Smiles big for the camera!

Lone Star Purrs said...

Y'all be FURRY careful down there!!!

Zeus- momma sed thaks for the headbutt! She gots a little but of a headache now....that wuz quite the headbutt!

::purrs::
~M&K

caspersmom said...

Hey Isis, Brach, are you sure Zeus didn't do this??

Anyhow Zeus, just wanted to let you know, I get more food from Dad instead of Mom at the table. She will only give me two or three pieces and she always yells at Dad saying he gives me to much. Dad keeps telling her to hush, they used to feed a dog way back when, only from the table and he lived O.K. So I make out because of that dog.

Casper

Derby said...

Did the monster from the Calico Girls make it to Houston?

Grr, Midnight & Cocoa said...

oh no! that thing must haf pointy fangs an sharp talons!

Mama Duck said...

Yep, I can send the Lil' Duck over, he'll make it ten times worse!

Luna said...

Too strange! be careful!

ome to play with me! =^^=

Carmen said...

Oh Isis. I hope that Brach can help you with the mystery. Let me know the outcome, i may use it in a screenplay for Miss Wendy. ;)

Patches & Mittens said...

Derby has a good point. I wonder if it is the Monster In the Woods, the insatiable Big Foot.......

Patches Lady

Bob-kat said...

OMG! Those mice must be really big! Hang on in there. I am sure the mystery will be solved soon.

Zeus said...

Skeezix: I am going to see if I can let Isis know about your hypothesis concerning the problem she's uncovered. I don't know if she will believe me or not, but it's worth a try. Thanks for your help!