Thursday, May 25, 2006

The Cat, The Gnome, and Phil

Dear human pet,

Those are a lot of questions, and I hope I can answer all of them by giving you more information than I had initially. You see, Mr. Kimmel Gnome happened to have Phil Keoghan's contact information (Apparently, the two of them have become close thanks to their work on The Amazing Race.), and I have been communicating with him through e-mails and telephone conversations.

When Phil and I first spoke to one another, he seemed very excited about my plans. He said that CBS chooses contestants for his show by looking at whether or not they are physically fit, able to read and understand maps, and if they have any extensive travel experience. He said less is usually better because it adds to the drama of the show since most viewers tune in to find out how those people fair in the elements of the journey. He also stated that because I was inexperienced, I would be a purrfect candidate for their show, but I would need a partner because on the show, the teams are made up of two homo sapiens. I've spoken to Isis, and she said she would come along with me, but The Meezers, The Calico Girls, and even The Crew said they would come with me.

If I were a contestant on The Amazing Race, I would be given airfare, hotel accomodations, and the producers said I would have my flea and heartworm medications provided. They also said not to worry about the litter box as that is but a minor expense. Phil said they have gophers working for them who can handle my bathroom needs and give me my treatments. I thought that was most excellent that they employed other mammals in their work! Clearly, Phil and his crew are not specieists!

But here is the best part: Phil said that because I was such a unique contestant compared to those of previous seasons, the producers thought it would be even better just to highlight my journey! They don't want me to race against other homo sapiens, but rather, they just want to record my travels as part of a new reality series entitled, The Amazing Zeus. Tell me that is not just fantastic?!

So basically, I get everything provided for, and all the producers require is that I blog just like Phil does. Phil and I don't think that should be a problem since I do that anyhow. He said it took him some getting used to, but with all of my blogging experience under my proverbial belt, I am going to be alright.

I also have been in touch with Uchenna and Joyce of The Amazing Race: Season 7. They live right here in Houston, and since they actually won the million dollar prize, I thought they could give me some pointers. Uchenna is a really nice man, and he told me that his best tip was to not overeat and make sure I drink lots of water. Joyce, on the other hand, told me to be careful of Fast Forwards as I might end up shaving my fur off. Phil told me that I wouldn't have to do any of the Detours, Road Blocks, or Fast Forwards since it wasn't really a race so that made me feel a little better.

So what do you think, human pet? Isn't this just the most fabulous and outrageous thing you have ever heard? It's the opportunity of a lifetime, and I think I would be silly not to pursue it.

15 comments:

Gemini said...

Oh I'm so excited for you on your adventure Zeus! Uchenna and Joyce were one of my favorites on the show and I'm sure they gave you good advice.

Gemini said...

Oh Momma said that when you get to Seattle (if you come here) you can snooze on my perch!

The Meezers said...

OH OH OH - The Amazing Race is our most FAVORITIST talky pikshur box show! So we're shur that The Amazing Zeus would be even better!!!! How exciting for you!

George, Tipper, Max & Misty said...

We watch the Travel Channel on cable but have never seen The Amazing Race. Hmmm...perhaps transporting would be better, all things considered. (litter, meds, luggage, etc. etc etc.) But, if you want a post card from Brookfield, WI (suburban Milwaukee) where we live, we'd send you one.

Butterscotch said...

it is such a wonderful opertunity. Are you sure you wont miss your human pet? I know mine knows how to scratch me ever so perfect.
Let me know what you are doing.
This is exciting

Fat Eric said...

I haven't seen this show but it sounds like really good fun! I think you should just go for it, Zeus! And make sure you come and see us if you're passing through London.

The Tower Hill Mob said...

Sounds like a good idea, Zeus. If you come to Mewsachusetts, do stop in-we'll have a kitty ceilidh!

Beau Beau & Angie said...

You certainly would be silly not to pursue it. Go for the stars!

William said...

What are you going to do with pointers? It's cat toys you need!

Zoe said...

Let me just say, hello and goodbye.

Les Trois Chats said...

Zeus -
you are just the cat for this. Of course they will focus on you - because they already know you will win!

(Our mom says that she is always behind in her scrapbooking. She has stacks of photos - luckily in order - that need to be put into books.)

Cat said...

Zeus, hopefully Singapore will be a pitstop for you!

Oreo said...

It sounds like fun. Will you send me one of them gophers for a purresent since I didn't get the one at mine house?????

Kukka-Maria said...

Good plan, although...Amazing Race features teams (hint, hint).

On a side note, Mom says she cheered out loud when The Hippies won this last season. She said they proved you didn't have to argue and get over-stressed in order to win.

Victor Tabbycat said...

I only saw one episode, but the beans had to do some scary fings, like jump outa planes, ride camels, an drive a monster thru the biggest sandbox (no litter problem there!). Can you do those fings, Zeus? I'd love to watch that.