Monday, April 17, 2006

Isis


This is Isis.

Isis came to my home in May of 2003. One day, my human pet came home to our then apartment at the time, and she heard what sounded like a wounded bird in a nearby bush. She walked over to investigate, and out came this little, poofy, gray furball with bright, blue, young kitten eyes. She was so tiny that she fit in the palm of my human pet's hand. We had no idea at the time that she would become so colorful in her Caliconess.

Isis had been abandoned, or so we thought. We could find no mama cat anywhere. It was a wonder that she had survived when she was so very fragile in her youth. She had taken to drinking from the side of the road that led to the apartments, and in the process, she had received worms. My human pet struggled to get medication down Isis' throat so she could get better.

It is believed that Isis is suffering from paranoid schizophrenia. We, however, take no pity on her. I can sneak up on Isis, and if she just catches sight of me out of the corner of her eye, her fur will stand up straight, and she will jump forty feet in the air. She also does not like people petting her on the rear for she is paranoid that something will happen. I blame my human pet for this because when Isis was little, she needed to be "anally expressed", and we felines do not like being violated.

When she was but a babe, she went into the bathroom, took the toilet paper in her mouth, and wound it around the apartment. It was amazing that the toilet paper had not broken. We still do not know how she did this. My human pet knew it was not me because I do not have a fascination with paper.

Isis also takes to stealing my human pet's feminine hygiene products. If she can get her hands on one, she will carefully pick away at the wrapper and take cotton by the string in her mouth. She will then walk it to the water bowl, much to my dismay, and sit there. She will watch patiently as the cotton expands. Why she does, we don't know.

Isis is also a big fan of bread in plastic bags. She enjoys waiting for my human pet to go shopping, and if the pet is silly enough to leave the bread in its delectable wrapper, Isis will pounce on it. She will nibble at the plastic and tear at it with her claws until she reaches the tasty goodness. Isis then only takes one bite. That's right. Just one bite of the bread. She then decides it is no good, and my human pet becomes infuriated.

Then, of course, there was the time that Isis decided it was a good idea to jump in the garbage can. Apparently, there were chicken bones inside, and she was clever enough to find a way to get inside unnoticed. However, she could not get out, and we had to tip over the garbage can as she cried nonstop.

As you can see, I am the good cat.

Isis is the bad cat.

And of course, anything I do, she gets blamed for which is fine by me.

7 comments:

The Meezers said...

Our Mommy says that Isis looks and acts alot like Ralphie, The One Who Came Before. She says that he took the toilet paper from the upstairs bafroom and unrolled it all the way down the stairs, through the hall and into the downstairs bafroom wifout breaking it.

Scooby, Shaggy & Scout said...

Hi Zeus! Thanks for stopping by our blog. We're glad to meet you! Isis sounds like a handful, but she sure is up on her survival techniques! We used to have a guinea pig named Zeus.

Scooby, Shaggy & Scout said...

PS: Zeus we were just looking through your past posts and read about your weight loss with the Purina indoor formula. Do you free feed on it our do you get a measured amount each day? Do you eat any canned food at all. Inquiring minds (mom) wants to know...

Zeus said...

My human pet does measure in a sense. She will use a small coffee cup, and Isis and I both get one cup in the morning, one at lunch, and one in the evening. We do free feed, and my pet likes to have us compete over the food so we eat when we're supposed to.

My human pet does spoil me, though, on occasion. She has given me tuna, sardines, ground meatballs, ground chicken, and chopped-up shrimp. She likes to do this perhaps once or twice a week because she heard that it helps my urinary tract since I'm a big boy.

I don't get it myself. I go pee, cover it up, and clean my claws on the loose rug underneath. There's not much more science to it.

My human pet will not give me canned food unless it is a special occasion because it is very high in protein, and if I eat too much of it, I gain quickly. The only time I get anything like canned Iams turkey and giblets or some fish flavor is during Thanksgiving and Christmas because my pet tends to be sentimental.

I hope this helps!

Bonnie Underfoot said...

The young invader of my home, Victor, is a trouble-maker, too. I use this to my advantage. If he's naughty enough, maybe they'll make him go away. I certainly won't be letting him groom me. Ewwww.

DEBRA said...

Isis you rock girl!

*ABBY(the miniature manx)

Kukka-Maria said...

Ohmygosh! Isis and I are definitely cut from the same cloth. I, too, have a tampon addiction.

While I've never gotten one out of the wrapper, nor near a water bowl, I would love the chance to do so! Too bad our human pet hides the 'pons now.

Who made her the boss of the feminine hygiene products!?