I don't know what the pet's problem is.
She should understand that I have standards.
The pet decided it would be a FANTASTIC idea to try the new World's Best Cat Litter. You know, the one made from corn? She thought it would help us become more 'green', but all it did was make me more constipated.
It beeping sucks!
I wasn't about to walk on shredded corn husks and have kernels of recycled golden nuggets in between my toes. I'm sorry, but I didn't sign up to poo in a compost heap! And this whole idea of it being safe for me to clean my paws after I do my business is pure bullshit - though, to be fair, bulls probably have higher standards than pooing in used cornbits.
So what did I do?
I peed all over the dining room, the living room, and for shiggles, I went for the hallway too.
The human pet then had to clean everything when she came home.
Let that be a lesson to her for even thinking of being environmentally conscious!
Give me my sand, baking soda, and odor crystals! Give them to me NOW!