All I wanted for my birthday was to be left alone, but instead, shining bright lights were thrown in my face as the Catstapo were coming to seize me.
I tried to run away, but everywhere I went, the lights followed. I then suspected it was Xenu, coming to take me away to another planet of inhospitable nature.
Then I heard my Momma's voice saying, "Pose for the camera! It's your birthday!" At that point, I almost wished it had been Xenu.