You'd better not even think about putting your patty-cake foundation, sticky-icky mascara, or poopy plum lipstick on me! Just because you saw this woman do it, doesn't mean you have to. The voices in my head say we're fan-freaking-tastic looking like a clown on our own, and I believe them.
P.S. Don't even think about sitting me down to file my nails. I'll file them myself...on your backside!