I'm hiding her wallet.
On Friday at six o'clock in the evening, the human pet walked across the street to David and Suzzette's house (Isis and I have met David; his scratches are absolute perfection.), but she did not come back until ten o'clock! Did she fall down another flight of stairs? Did she manage to trip over some oddball flat surface? Did she fall into the toilet?
No. She was playing Texas Hold 'Em!
And thank you, Twitter, for letting me know!
She didn't even win any money! And she calls that a good time? I don't see how losing five bucks can be even close to having a good time. Hello, human pet: Knock, knock. This is financial stress calling. We're knocking on the doors of all good American boys and girls.
You know, honestly...in a time when people are trying to save more, trying to cut back on nonessential things, my human pet is throwing money away like it's growing on trees. (Though the recent Sonic commercial I saw does point out that money does indeed grow on trees since it's made of paper...but I digress.) If it had only been one night, that would have been forgiveable, but she went back again on Saturday night!
When the human pet returned, all you could hear was her mumbling: "I've never even seen anyone get a straight flush before."