Thursday, March 05, 2009

Fist to the face style: Howdja like it, McGruff?

Dear McGruff the Crime Dog,

I can hardly believe after the incident with Chuck E. Cheese that you would also fall prey to a random act of violence. I don't even know what to say. You are an icon in the community, a beacon of hope to children of all ages, a canine vigilante of justice. To hear that someone punched you in the face as "a prank" is almost mindboggling.

Who wakes up in the morning and says, "Y'know, I think it would be real funny to find some cute and cuddly child mascot and punch him straight in the face! That would be beeping hilarious!" Oh wait. I know who does that. Shawn Brim.

I know two wrongs don't make a right, but perhaps in this case, an exception could be made. Clearly, if it's a prank to run up to someone and coldcock him then I think it's only fair that you find the bus driver in question, run up to him, sock him in the eye, and then say, "Ha! Ha! I made a funny too!" Remember: Do it in front of a group of children just like he did so they learn how to prank one another as well.

Once again, I am so sorry to hear about your injury. May your days of fighting crime continue long after this incident has become a memory. I hope that you get better soon, and I will continue to say prayers for you...that you find that dumbass bus driver and tear him a new one.

P.S. If I wake up tomorrow and find out that yet another mascot has been assaulted, I might just pee myself. Please tell me that the brutal violence against helpless mascots does not also happen in threes like so many other occurrences in life. Do we need to start a mascot-assault pool? If we are, I'm going out on a limb now and saying Smokey The Bear is the next victim.


Karen Jo said...

That's just sick. I'm glad that the police caught the guy and charged him with assault. I hope that he gets convicted and the conviction is widely advertised, so that the kids will learn that this kind of behavior is unacceptable.

Angel said...

It is a shame that people ahve to attack childrens icons! If you are worried aabout three envents, the story on McGruss referenced an attack on a Chick-fil-A cow.

Cheysuli and gemini said...

Thank heavens I am not a mascot. They are certainly having a run of bad luck aren't they?

The Meezers said...

sheesh!!! what the heck is with people? so, Chuck E. Cheese, the chick-fil-a cow and now McGruff -that's 3.

Pink Chihuahua Princess said...

A few years ago in the town where I work someone beat up the guy in the pig costume of a local favorite mom and pop restaurant. The pig on the corner was a stable in that town until his snout got beat in.