Thursday, July 19, 2007

Even felines can smell bullshit

And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves, and said unto them, "It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves.”

Matthew 21:12-13

One of my favorite television shows has to be The Colbert Report on Comedy Central. Yes, I know what you must be thinking: Felines actually give a shit about the political upheaval facing the United States? Indeed we do. Indeed, indeed. How else am I supposed to gain the inside track to obtaining my voting rights if I do not at least know the particular ins and outs of the process?

But I digress...

Anyhoo, as I said earlier, I was watching The Colbert Report while propped on my throne, and I could not help but perk my ears when I heard the following story:

Prophets for Profit: Wal-Mart to sell extensive line of religious toys in 420 stores across the nation.

I narrowed my eyes as I looked upon the television. A brief flash of a 12-inch, plastic-faced Moses (Complete with burning bush and holy staff!) secured in colorful packaging accompanied by chic branding popped onto the screen. Moses' stiffened and warped smile seemed to say, "Hell yeah, I parted that Red Sea, and guess what? Ima gonna do it again! Know why? Cause I CAN!" I suddenly saw images of young girls and boys fighting over the poor plastic Moses, demanding that they raise his staff into the air and part the waters in their bathtubs before bedtime.

I believe it was at this point that I sniffed the air of my living room and found the intoxicating scent of irony drifting about in dense, rolling wafts.

I considered the poor Indian laborers, milling away for eightteen hours, seven days a week, just to craft the wonderful George line of clothing (selling from $8.00 to $29.00) and ending up with a paycheck the equivalent of $2.00 US. I thought of how the term, "health care", did not really apply to Wal-Mart workers. I was reminded of how many mom-and-pop stores, the true heritage of Americana, had successfully been snuffed out by the opening of a Wal-Mart near to their businesses.

I lowered my head for a moment, and I realized an all-important truth:

Wal-Mart really is the Devil.

10 comments:

The Cat Realm said...

Definitely! As cats, we have to admit, we do not care too much about "human politics". But we know the maid and the butler are very agitated sometimes about such issues. We also know for a fact that they do love the Daily Show and The Colbert Report too! And I think they despise George W., they call him "twig" and other words we do not want to write down here...
On another note: There is a blogoversary to celebrate, so come by and check it out!

Sparky Duck said...

Got balance out the guns in the sporting goods department somehow dont they?

The Meezers said...

Hallejulia!!! (or however you spell it). The brand spanking new Super Wally Werld that opened about 3 miles from here will prolly close in a year or two - the parking lot is never more than 1/4 full. HA! Around here, we prefer vastly overpriced goods to discount stuff.

Cheysuli said...

I care a great deal about human politics. In fact, I hope to make many changes.

We really liked Colbert's commentary on the WORD the other nice: victimcrite about the senator from Tennasee.

The Crew said...

Zeus, we can always depend on you to bring us interesting things!

Aloysius said...

We should have a million-cat march on Walmart!

Parker said...

Amen Zeus. The idea of WalMart selling religion is like Cow Feedlots promoting Be Kind To Animals Week.

Kimo & Sabi said...

We calls it "Wally World" - they has a policy that beans in RV's can park in their lot overnight - like a campground. Soon da Mart will hit da Wall - hahahaha!

Millie said...

Go Zeus!

Mom agrees with you too. She hates Wal-Mart and won't shop there.

Lux said...

Amen.