Wednesday, December 13, 2006

State bill shows promise for feline rights

Recently, a state legislator by the name of Edmund Kuempel from Seguin, Texas proposed a new bill which would give persons with vision impairments the right to hunt. Currently, those who are legally blind are not allowed to hunt due to the possible endangerment of other people. Kuempel, however, feels that persons with vision impairments are being wrongly discriminated against, and that this injustice can only be solved with two things:

Laser sights and "a buddy".

Under his proposed bill, a person with vision impairments will be allowed to use laser sights while hunting. Individuals with proper vision who hunt are not currently permitted to use such devices. The buddy would be a sighted individual who helps the blind hunter by providing verbal cues as to where to point the gun and when to shoot.

I've recently come to the conclusion that I too am being wrongly discriminated against when it comes to driving a car. My opposable thumbs, short stature, and inability to stay in an upright position for longer than five seconds should prove no obstacle to obtaining a driver's license considering all of the possible modifications that exist for automobiles these days. I challenge those who would say that my driving would be a danger to others! I could be no worse than some of the homo sapiens out there.

I too could have someone be my "buddy" and assist me in driving the car: telling me when to turn, when to press the breaks, and guiding me with my parallel parking. After all, it's my understanding that some of the new Lexus' have the capability to park all on their own. Couldn't the same technology be used to assist me as only a true "buddy" can? What's to stop we felines from stepping behind the wheel of a car now?

Look out, DMV! Here I come!

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, some people can be very silly indeed. It is only right that if the vision impaired are allowed to shoot at things, even with a "buddy" that cats be allowed to drive. I'll be first in line for the proper papers when the bill is passed.~Zippy

Cheysuli said...

I think you're absolutely right. After all, when they start allowing us driver's licenses, then they'll allow us to vote...

Wait, doesn't Kukka ALREADY drive?

The Meezers said...

yes, driver's licenses - we all need them. i need one so that i can go to the store and purchase my own stinky goodness. - Miles

Carmen said...

you should have Dick Cheney be your hunting buddy and driving buddy. ;)

Renee said...

I don't see how you can be any worse than teenagers, senior citizens or people driving while on their cellphone.

but I do think it's silly for blind people to have access to guns.

Kukka-Maria said...

Before you beg, I'll be your buddy. Between the two of us, we can do some serious damage!

They'll call us "Thelma and Louise." (I'm Louise)

Aloysius said...

Visually impaired humans can already hunt legally in Minnesota. I worry that they might not be able to tell a deer from a cat, though.

As for driving: I have servants who do that for me.

Anonymous said...

yes, but it takes the Lexus like an hour to park. Do you have the patience for that?

George, Tipper, Max & Misty said...

What a wonderful idea, Zeus. We felines have suffered discrimination long enough and demand equal driving rights. Where do we sign up??

PrincessMia said...

You are very right, fine Zeus. I would like to have my own driver's license, even though I detest the car. Well, maybe I detest the car because I'm not the one driving.