Friday, May 05, 2006

Isis, Isis, Isis

Dear Zeus,

Isis informed me that I might want to read your blog today, and I am sure glad she let me know. I think you are absolutely correct when you say we need to do something about this immediately, but my issues are not the same as your supposed issues. Before you get huffy, you might want to read on.

Zeus, I know this may come as a surprise to you, but you are a CAT. Yes, I know what your needs are, and I have no problem maintaining your food supply and monitoring the litter situation. However, I do not need to run out to buy things for you, and if I do, you should be very glad I did so. Isis has always shown great appreciation for the things I get for her, but you act like a pompous old fool. Have you ever considered how your actions determine my reactions?

When I call you, you never come. If I call Isis, she comes right away...and so do you since you cannot stand being second-best. If I want you to cuddle, you want to go on the back of the couch. If I pick you up to hold you, you want to go on the floor. If I try to give you Cat Chow, you want tuna. I don't care how many times you try to tell me how Isis is picky; YOU, my pet, (yes, I went there!) are a feline who changes his mind in an instant!

I DID say hello to you several times while I rushed in and out of the house, but you were in the garage hiding amongst the luggage. That was YOUR perrogative to remain in there and not to visit with ME. How do you think this makes me feel when you do not even try to greet me? Isis always meets me by the door when I come home, but you are too good to come padding up to me.

If I have avoidance issues, then you, my pet (I went there again!), have arrogance issues. I've been trying for five years to get you to change, but getting you to change is like making the grass of the earth blue, and the sky a beautiful ivy shade. In other words, it's not happening.

Oh...and if you think these little threats of yours affect me, I am letting you know right now to BRING IT ON. I was cleaning your pee stains off of the sheets when you were but a wee kitten who didn't even know his way to the litter box. I am NOT scared.

I do love you, but you brought this on yourself.

Love always,


P.S. Why can't you call me Mama like Isis does?


The Meezers said...

uh oh Zeus. It must be a Ginger cat thing. Norton had the same cattitude, and so does Trixie. Zeus, we fink you are great, but maybe once in a while throw your momma off and give her a snuggle. Mommy says it's called "positive re-en-force-ment" and if you do it randomly, you will get the behavior you want out of your momma.

=^..^= said...

Oh dear... your bean Mommy is not happy. Maybe you can throw her off by giving her a surprise, totally unexpected headbutt and purry snuggle?


cat_aunty said...

Oh no Zeus, now you have done it this time!! Mama and Zeus should hug and forgive each other!

Kukka-Maria said...

Wow, Zeus! I hate to say it, but she put you in your place! I wish I would have known you were going to address these "issues" head-on with her...I could have told you it wasn't going to fly.

On a side note: I can not...NOT...believe she called you "pet!" Twice! My mom calls me that sometimes and then follows it with a lame excuse: "It's a term of endearment, baby!"

Term of endearment, my big, saggy belly!

Fat Eric said...

Maybe being a wee bit more cuddly might earn you some extra treats, Zeus? Works for me, I am a ginger boy but not ashamed to be cuddly with my mum AS LONG AS IT EARNS ME FOOD POINTS!!!

Patches & Mittens said...

The only reason I come when I am called is because The Mom always gives me a treat. Boy, do I have her figured out!!

Patches Lady

DEBRA said...

Zeus..Zeus...Zeus time to do some repair werk wif Mama. Go give her a BIG poodin snuggle, she will like dat. Time to break out the charm dear poodin.