Monday, August 31, 2009

Thank goodness it's Monday!

The weekend was pretty uneventful, aside from the shrieks and cries of zombies dying thanks to skillful shooting of the human pet. Left 4 Dead actually looked so entertaining that I even contemplated hopping onto the Xbox 360 to take a try at it. I only got to think about playing, though, as the human pet practically hogged it every chance she got.

Aside from that, the human pet finalized her doctorate application to Texas A&M University. She won't know whether she's accepted until November or December. Now, it's time to turn our attentions towards applying for financial aid - a process the human pet finds utterly confusing. Who knew she could be so easily outwitted?

As for me, I'm just glad it's Monday. It means I get the whole house to myself. Ah, peace and quiet with an occasional whine from Ares. There's nothing better.

Friday, August 28, 2009

There's enough drama in reality...minus the tv.

There I was, preparing my kibble for another dramatic episode of Project Runway, when I heard the shrieking bloody cry of the human pet from outside. I ran to the window to look out, but as I did so, the front door flew open, and I watched with mild interest as Ares was flung inside. The door quickly slammed shut, but the human pet did not enter.

Moments later, the human pet walked into the living room, and she was shaking. Her eyes were welling up quickly with tears, and she could barely move, standing firmly in one place, boring a hole into Ares with her eyes alone.

"What happened?" I whispered.

The human pet explained that she had gone out to collect the mail from our mailbox which is right by the road in front of our house. Ares had followed her down the driveway, and as it just so happened, the neighbor from across the street had come outside at the same time, walking to his car to grab something he had forgotten. Ares had bolted, running to our neighbor friend to say hello, and the human pet had given him a firm warning, saying his name assertively.

With his ears back indicating he had understood, Ares turned quickly around to run back across the street to our front porch, but he had not seen that a car was coming down the road. It had been exceptionally dark thanks to the flickering status of the broken street lamp in front of our house so the human pet quickly knew that the little one would be quite difficult to see for the oncoming driver. She had little time to think, but she knew if something was not done, Ares would be hit - such was the timing of the entire incident.

She ran in front of the oncoming car, hands in front of her in the universal symbol for 'stop', and yelled at the top of her lungs, "No!"

Brakes squealed as the headlights illuminated the human pet in the middle of the road. She didn't stand there, though, like so many deer who find themselves in that precarious position. After the car had stopped, she ran into our yard, scooped up Ares, and proceeded to throw him into the house...literally.

I had never known until last night the depth of my human pet's love for us, that she would risk her own life to save ours. I don't think she realized it either until that moment, so shocked she was by her own actions without regard to her own safety. It was a powerful moment for everyone involved.

Needless to say, Project Runway lacked a certain je na sais quoi after that.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Thursday Thirteen #39

Thirteen Reasons Why I Haven't Written Anything Good Lately

13. I haven't been getting my Omega-3's.

12. My nails are too long.

11. Every time I want to go on the computer, Ares is playing Mafia Wars.

10. I love watching Hell's Kitchen, Top Chef, and Project Runway.

9. Isis has not been much of a muse lately.

8. I've taken up paper shredding as a hobby.

7. Every time I want to go on the computer, the human pet is on Facebook.

6. I'm so close to beating Guitar Hero on expert. (Do you have any idea how hard it is to reach both the keys and the strum bar for a feline? Believe me: This is quite an accomplishment!)

5. I keep getting phone calls from old friends like Phil.

4. I'm swamped in fan mail, and paper cuts hurt.

3. Every time I want to go on the computer, Isis is on Twitter.

2. I have ideas, but due to reason 8, they somehow never make it to paper.

1. I'm in a vicious cycle of sleeping too much and hence, I'm always too tired.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Show me your mean mug

Friday, August 21, 2009

Mastermind Moscow Mutts


I really didn't know what to think when I heard about this originally on The Colbert Report, but apparently, it is true. Stray dogs in Moscow are now taking to the subway to travel. According to other websites, the stray dogs have taken to public transportation in an effort to find food, returning to their home base in the evening.

Note to self: Find a subway station, and leave Ares there. He'll surely be alright.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Crasher Squirrels

The original Crasher Squirrel photo was taken by Melissa and Jackson Brandts in Banff in late May. (Melissa Brandts)

Don't you just hate when self-centered, lime-lighting squirrels ruin a good photo opportunity? I know I do. While browsing the Internet, I could not help but notice this little nugget of joy tucked away on one of my many social networking sites. I laughed so hard that tuna juice squirted from my nose. Enjoy Top 10 Crasher Squirrels! You will not be sorry!

Friday, August 14, 2009

Trashy ice cream

Sigh...

Yesterday, I had this terrific post idea brewing in my mind all day. I went to my computer to get to work, and ouila! The internet was down thanks to bad storms in the area. Alas, I have nothing to offer you, reader, except a random pondering pertaining to whether or not ice cream can be trashy. I present to you the following evidence:All I can say is that this human female looks like she's enjoying her ice cream a little too much.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Back to school

Dear human pet,

Do well at school today! Don't let anything get you down. It is a new year, filled with excitement and challenges you have yet to discover. I am sure you will outperform all the rest.

Remember your motto: One student is glad you showed up today.

Surely, that has to make waking up at 6:00 in the morning worth it.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

You'll always be number one in my heart

It is with a sad heart that I must report that Laney has not won Mutt Strut Poster Pooch 2010.

Apparently, a dog named Junior received over 1000 plus votes. Honestly? A dog named Junior? How original is that? Bleh.

For all of our hard efforts with the scavenger hunt, though, we did help to make the contest a success for the Humane Society of Indianapolis. Over $26,000 was raised, and all of it will go towards helping stray dogs and cats receive the care they need in order to be healthy, happy animals. There is some comfort in that. Thanks go out to all of our readers who submitted suggestions for our walks!

So do me a favor, and visit Laney today on her blog. Let her know you think she's a special kind of gal. Make sure to point out that she doesn't look fat in that bandana, how her cape compliments her eyes, or how she will always be number one in our hearts.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Running for a cure

There's something to be said for the power of the Internet. Three years ago, no one knew who I was. I was just minding my own business, living out my life on the couch, watching a bland array of reality television shows and wondering if I would ever be able to become a contestant on Survivor. Thanks to this adventure known as blogging, I have a life outside of my house, and I have real friends...even if we connect through the Ethernet cable.

And now, one of my many friends needs my help.

Jeff Patyk has been an avid reader of The Zeus Excuse for some time. He's a true stand-up guy, and I can say that as an envious sufferer of quadrupedalism. At present, Jeff is training for the Marine Corps Marathon in Washington, D.C. on October 25, 2009 where his efforts will be rewarded by raising money for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. As a special honor, he will be running on behalf of the human pet's cousin, Kevin.

Please help us at The Zeus Excuse return the favor by passing this post along to others you know. Submit a donation on Jeff's website if at all possible. Jeff's goal is $1800, and he is currently at $700. No one need tell us how tight money is, but as the infamous homo sapien saying goes, "Every little bit counts". I am sure with our combined efforts we can help him accomplish his goal and so much more.

Thank you to Jeff and all of the great people in the Washington, D.C. area for their hard work in helping to stamp out my number one Litter List offender: cancer. Great change is possible. Just look at what the Internet did for my social life!

Monday, August 10, 2009

And the new waterboy for the Pittsburgh Steelers is...

Dear human pet,

While I realize you have been waiting all summer long for football season to begin, was it really necessary to purchase this:


I know you had it customized to have Ares' name on the back. If you even so much as think of having one made for me, I will claw it to itty bitty shreds upon arrival! Isn't it bad enough that all of us ARE Steelers' colors?! We ARE a walking Steelers' jersey!

Monday, August 03, 2009

Gone for a few days

We here at The Zeus Excuse will be taking the rest of the week off. The human pet's grandmother passed away this afternoon. She will be flying to Pittsburgh to be with her family.

We'll see you back here next Monday.